Typically, the children in horror movies are either the unwilling messengers of doom or are evil themselves. Either way, the dialogue these kids have to spout is usually pretty eerie and often not something you’d want to hear coming out of the mouths of babes.

Here’s a look at 9 chilling quotes spoken by children in some of our favorite horror/thriller films.

Poltergeist

“They’re here …”

Is there any more classic moment than when Carol Anne turns away from the static TV and says to Craig T. Nelson, “They’re here”? The sing-song delivery, the creepy little toe-headed kid, everything about the scene is unnerving. The reality of what happened to Poltergeist star Heather O’Rourke only adds to the enduring scariness. The sad thing is that the scene is now being used to sell cable TV, which seems a crass and careless way to tread on someone’s memory.

The Sixth Sense

Of course, the most famous of the creepy little kids of the last decade is Haley Joel Osmet in The Sixth Sense, when he imparted those famous words to Bruce Willis, “I see dead people.” Coming at about the midway point of the film, those four little words explain what has been going on in the film, and opens the door for the much larger surprise that comes at the end. A lot of people would argue that writer/director M. Night Shyamalan has been making the same film ever since and that none of his other films have lived up to the promise of that first success, but if nothing else, he has given us one of the most memorable film experiences ever.

The Shining

While Jack Nicholson’s psychotic axe-wielding family man Jack Torrance managed to scare the crap out of us — and has one of the greatest movies lines ever with “Here’s Johnny!” — it was really Jack’s young son Danny who had the most chilling scenes of the film. In this Stanley Kubrick adaptation of the classic Stephen King novel, a writer takes a job as the winter caretaker at what turns out to be a haunted hotel. After Jack, his wife, and their young son Danny move into the hotel, it’s revealed that the young boy has “the shining,” an ability to see ghosts. Eventually, Danny begins to repeatedly chant “redrum” in a deep voice while holding a knife in one hand while writing the word in red lipstick on a door with the other — that’s creepy enough. It becomes even more chilling when we find out what “redrum” actually means.

The Exorcist

There are so many chilling and iconic moments packed into Linda Blair’s performance as the possessed Regan MacNeil that choosing just one singular moment is pretty difficult. Nearly every moment of dialogue that takes place between Father Karras and Regan during the Exorcism scenes are far beyond mere disturbing. Most of the gems concern Karras’s mother, like “Your mother’s in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I’ll see that she gets it.” and the infamous “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell…”, or even parroting his Mother’s dementia-filled agony with “Why you do this to me, Dimi? Please Dimi, I’m afraid.” Yet for me the creepiest bit in the film takes place before the actual possession at her mom’s cocktail party. Amid the festivities of a piano-fueled singalong Regan pulls a true show-stopper when after being put to bed she returns to the party and sidles up to an Astronaut (we should all have one Astronaut buddy). In a monotonous deadpan Regan say “You’re gonna die up there.” followed by her letting loose a load of piss on the rug. Now, a little girl in pajamas telling a spaceman he’s gonna be orbital toast the day before his launch is eerie enough, but that piss-filled encore takes the moment beyond mere creepy and into utra-disturbing territory.

Interview With The Vampire

Little Claudia (Kirsten Dunst) is a beautiful girl perfectly dressed and coiffed, just like the numerous dolls that decorate her room. But she’ll never be truly happy, because she’s a child vampire who’ll live forever, yet never grow into a woman. This is the one thing she desires — so much so, amongst her dolls she hides the corpse of a female victim she wanted to emulate, which prompts a heated argument with her “father” and maker Lestat (Tom Cruise). Seemingly to make up for the fight, little Claudia brings Lestat twin boys to fed on, concealing that the boys are already dead — and drinking from the dead is a big vampire no-no. To coax Lestat to drink, Claudia so sweetly says “I promise I’ll get rid of the bodies.” Lestat takes the bait, which allows Claudia to finish him off. This “child” may seem innocent and look like a little angel, but underneath it all, she’s the deadliest of them all.

The Good Son

Macaulay Culkin was on a meteoric rise in the early 1990s with the success of the first two Home Alone movies, so it might not have been the best idea for the child star to headline the 1993 thriller The Good Son as the “bad son.” Culkin’s Henry goes far beyond spilling some milk. He’s an innocent-looking boy with malicious intent and no conscience. He will harm with no remorse. The film’s climatic scene is truly a cliffhanger: After trying to kill his own mother, Susan, Henry hangs from a cliff alongside his “good” cousin Mark (Elijah Wood). Holding one boy in each hand, Susan tries to pull them both to safety when Henry tells her, “Mom, I need your other hand” leaving Susan with the dilemma of who to save — her innocent nephew or her evil son?

Damien: Omen II

The 1970s loved to pair children with the devil, as we saw with The Exorcist. But with The Omen, instead of the child being possessed by the Devil, this 1976 horror film centered around the spawn of Satan — the Antichrist. While the original film was frightening enough, Satan’s son Damien was just a small child who didn’t say much. But in the 1978 sequel, Damien still doesn’t know of his true nature, until he begins to come of age and starts to feel a change. When he finds out that the AntiChrist has a 666 birthmark, he checks his scalp and discovers he has it. As horrifying as the gruesome deaths in the movie were, it’s Damien’s discovery of his true Satanic heritage — complete with an anguished “Why me?” — that’s truly bone-chilling.

Pet Semetary

For me personally, it does not get any more terrifying than adorable little Gage from Pet Semetary. If the horror of your baby son being hit by a speeding 18-wheeler isn’t enough to begin with, this little one is buried in then that wacky cemetery. A little bit of Monkey’s Paw later, well, we all know what happens there… back comes little Gage, only quite different now. That kid, with his little outfits and his knife and tiny high-pitched voice is enough to make me weep, especially when he’s bringing a knife to his mother, saying “I brought you something, Mommy” as if it will be a sweet surprise for her.

Children of the Corn

Let’s face it, the entire premise of Children of the Corn and its numerous sequels is one big creepy-children horror fest, from its brainwashed children with pitchforks chanting “KILL!” to its charismatic child leader Isaac and his eerie preaching about the evil god of corn known as “He Who Walks Behind the Rows.” While driving through Nebraska, Linda Hamilton and the guy from 30 Something have a run-in with the murderous children who sacrifice adults to the evil corn god. When Isaac has a disagreement with his right-hand man Malachai, the latter has Isaac crucified as a sacrifice to their god. As Isaac awaits death on the corn cross, he spouts off about how he is the giver of “His” word and how the children will pay for their treachery and disobedience to Isaac’s teachings. After his death, in true biblical form, Isaac is resurrected. Looking like he just put his finger in an electrical socket, the prophet Isaac returns to bring vengeance from their God to Malachai. In a possessed voice, the young Isaac tells his betrayer, “He wants you too, Malachai.”

VIA

Men might be the oft leading candidates for the bad-ass heroes in films, but women have had their share of butt-kicking screen time as well. Here are the top ten Bad Ass Women of all time.

10. Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991)

Skynet, the 21st century computer waging a losing war on humans sends a second terminator back in time to destroy the leader of the human resistance while he is still a boy. His mother is the only one who knows of the existence of the Terminators, human-like robots that exist only to kill and are nearly indestructible, and she, the boy’s mother, is currently in a state mental hospital because of her ‘delusions’. A second protector is sent back to the past by the Human resistance to protect John Connor, their future leader, at all costs. All in order to protect her son, the future leader of the resistance against the machines, Sarah kicks a sizable amount of ass.

9. Lori Petty as Tank Girl (Rebecca) TANK GIRL (1995)

Tank Girl (Rebecca) and her friends are the only remaining citizens living in the wasteland that is Earth, where all the remaining water is controlled by Water and Power, the mega corporation/government that runs the territory. While incarcerated at W + P, Tank Girl and her new friend Jet Girl break out and steal… a tank and a jet. After meeting some mutant kangaroo/humans, and rescuing her little girl (adopted by her friends), the kangaroos and the girls kick Water and Powers’ ass. Based on a comic series, it tends to take a more comedic approach to the subject, but there is little doubt that Tank Girl kicks ass.

8. Michelle Yeoh & Zhang Ziyi as Yu Shu Lien & Jen Yu CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON (2000)

Wo hu cang long (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon) is a timeless story that takes place in QING China when miracles were credible and spirits and gods were present in man’s world. It is not unbelievable that zen warriors float through the air, skim the water and battle in trees and on rooftops. Pain, revenge and duty are the stuff that bind us in this world and are the main plot line of the movie, but in the afterlife love and faith linger on. Along with Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun Fat), the ladies in this movie are graceful and downright deadly.

7. Uma Thurman as Beatrix Kiddo (The Bride) KILL BILL VOL. I-II (2003-4)

The lead character, called ‘The Bride,’ was a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, lead by her lover ‘Bill.’ Upon realizing she was pregnant with Bill’s child, ‘The Bride’ decided to escape her life as a killer. She fled to Texas, met a young man, and on the day of their wedding was gunned down by an angry and jealous Bill (with the assistance of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad). Four years later, ‘The Bride’ wakes from a coma, and discovers her baby is gone. She, then, decides to seek revenge upon the five people who destroyed her life and killed her baby. Beatrix absolutely goes all out as she individually hunts and eliminates every member of the D.V.A.S., finally getting to Bill, her desired target. Kicks ass!

6. Carrie Fischer as Princess Leia THE STAR WARS TRILOGY (1977-1983)

Snide, snarky, and about as un-princess-like as one could be, Leia Organa takes charge of her rag-tag rescue band from the moment Han, Luke, and Chewie release her from the cell block. Defiant, cock-sure, and a natural leader, Leia eventually safely delivers the Death Star plans to the Rebel resistance via R2-D2 and sets into motion the utter collapse and downfall of the Galactic Empire. If there was any Imperial ass to kick, Leia was there with blaster in hand. And was there ever any doubt that she’d eventually hook up with a galactic smuggler?

5. Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft TOMB RAIDER (2001-03)

Based on the popular video game series, Tomb Raider features the adventures of Lara Croft an antiquities hunter-for-hire. She travels to exotic locales in search of treasures and artifacts in the catacombs of ancient tombs and ruins remaining from age-old empires. A female Indiana Jones, Croft’s expeditions are always chock full of action, danger, intrigue, suspense and her omnipresent knack for defying death in skin-tight outfits. Looking good and kicking ass is a winning combination.

4. Sheri Moon Zombie as Baby Firefly HOUSE OF A 1000 CORPSES & THE DEVILS REJECTS (2003-05)

The sequel to ‘House of 1000 Corpses’, ‘The Devil’s Rejects,’ takes place a few months later with the Texas State Police making a full-scale attack against the murderous Firefly family residence for the 1,000+ murders and disappearances of the past several years. But three of the family members escape, including Otis, Baby Firefly and Baby’s father Captain Spaulding. The evil trio go on a road trip, leaving dozens of mangled bodies in their wake. Evading a massive Texas Rangers dragnet as well as a group of equally murderous bounty hunters led by Ken Dwyer (the brother of a policeman Mamma Firefly killed in ‘House of…’) who’s obsessed with finding the deadly killers, the surviving Firefly clan gather at a run-down amusement park owned by Captain Spaulding’s half-brother, Charlie Altamont, who offers them shelter and a new base of operations for their killing spree as Sheriff Dwyer, the Texas Rangers, the FBI and others slowly close in. Though gruesome and sadistic, Baby kicks all kinds of ass.

3. Devon Aoki as Miho SIN CITY (2005)

“Sin City” is infested with criminals, crooked cops and sexy dames, some searching for vengeance, some for redemption and others, both. The film incorporates storylines from three of Miller’s graphic novels including ‘Sin City,’ which launched the long-running, critically acclaimed series, as well as ‘That Yellow Bastard’ and ‘The Big Fat Kill.’ Where Hartigan, a cop with a bum ticker and a vow to protect stripper Nancy. Marv, the outcast misanthrope, is on a mission to avenge the death of his one true love, Goldie; there’s also Dwight, the clandestine love of Shelley who spends his nights defending Gail and her Old Towne girls from Jackie Boy, a dirty cop with a penchant for violence. Miho resides in Old Towne and with one word from Gail, the appointed matriarch, Miho dispatches raiders and men alike with razor-sharp accuracy. She kicks serious ass.

2. Mila Jovovich as Alice RESIDENT EVIL, RE: APOCALYPSE, RE: EXTINCTION (2002-07)

A virus has escaped into a secret facility called “The Hive,” which chemically turns the staff (Umbrella Corporation) into man-eating zombies and releasing the mutated lab animals that they were studying. The complex computer (The Red Queen) shuts down the base to prevent further infection. The parent corporation sends in a military unit, where they meet Alice who has only a short time to remember who she is and the state of her mission, and is suffering from amnesia due to the nerve gas released into her bathroom. The military must shut down the computer (The Red Queen) and make their way back out of the Hive. Fighting their way past zombies, mutants and The Red Queen before the T-Virus escapes and effects the rest of the world. Its up to Alice to defeat the virus, if she loses, we all lose. And yes, she defeats them so thoroughly through three well-made films, kicking zombie ass all the way through.

1. Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley ALIEN, ALIENS, ALIEN 3, ALIEN RESURRECTION (1979-97)

Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), the sole survivor of the alien attack on the mining ship Nostromo, awakens half a century later when she is found by a salvage ship. The welcome given to her by the “Company” officials is far from warm, since they refuse to believe her discovery of alien existence and strip her off her flight officer’s license. Ripley also discovers, much to her horror, that the planet LV-426 where her crew had encountered an alien species for the first time, is now colonized by the company. But when all contact from the planet is lost Ripley is called back into action again as an advisor to a team of tough space marines with lots of firepower. To get rid of her recurrent nightmares about the alien creature, Ripley prepares for a final battle with the monsters – and this time, there are hundreds of them out there. Going from unwitting recipient to a monsters attack, to a vicious military scourge, to a prisoner, to an alien/human hybrid, Ellen Ripley kicks ass for 200 solid years. The very best of the best.

We’re not sure how they’ve done it, but by some dastardly karmic injustice these 10 a-holes have made successful careers for themselves as comedians by… being about as funny as putting your dog to sleep. For whatever idiotic reason, everyone went along with the shams long enough to make these people into celebrities. We’re not saying we could do their jobs better, we’re just saying it wouldn’t have been hard to find someone who could. So without further adieu – The Top 10 Most Unfunny Comedians of All Time.

If you want to see full list please go to COED Magazine.  Thank you!