In Woody Allen’s film Vicky Cristina Barcelona, virtually everyone locks lips in order to slip each other the tongue. It just so happens that in the rush to French-kiss, Allen’s woody compelled the aging director to script a kiss between two of Hollywood’s most voluptuous and nubile starlets: Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz.
Although the kiss between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz will no doubt have men popping wood around the globe, it would be premature to include their salacious kiss on this list of chicks kissing scenes. For the time being, however, we will confine ourselves to films that have been released, as we count down the 10 most erotic chicks kissing scenes. Keep in mind that these are film scenes, and we haven’t considered any pornography or erotica.

No.10 - Head in the Clouds (2004)

Penelope Cruz & Charlize Theron

Set in 1930s Europe, Head in the Clouds is a British/Canadian melodrama about the choices young lovers make when surrounded by political unrest. With the Spanish Civil War as the political backdrop, two passionate women (Penelope Cruz and Charlize Theron) find themselves living with a guy named Guy in Paris. One night, with Guy looking on and the ladies casually dressed in silk negligees, the ladies begin drunkenly consoling each other on the living room davenport. Soon enough, straps are sliding off shoulders, tears are streaming down powdered cheeks and the ladies are all over each other. It is a quick scene that ends after Theron’s character bites Cruz’s lip and the two are left with blood dripping from their lips.

No.9 - Chasing Amy (1997)

Joey Lauren Adams

The script for Kevin Smith’s third film, Chasing Amy, was inspired by his relationship with Joey Lauren Adams, who stars in the film as Alyssa Jones, a bisexual who Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) can’t help but chase. The film is full of frank sexual banter, but from our chicks kissing point of view, the highlight occurs after Alyssa performs a song for her true love who, much to Holden’s shock and chagrin, turns out to be some random platinum-blonde dyke. The two ladies then proceed to suck face for the next few scenes, while Holden looks on in disbelief, and his buddy Banky (Jason Lee) applauds the hotness of finding himself in a dyke bar surrounded by girls who like girls.

No.8 - Bitter Moon (1992)

Emmanuelle Seigner & Kristin Scott Thomas

In Roman Polanski’s ultra-kinky film Bitter Moon, Fiona (Kristin Scott Thomas) and Nigel (Hugh Grant) play a straight-laced and repressed British couple whose conservative relationship is thrown overboard while on a cruise ship. The catalyst for the change is their encounter with Mimi (played by Emmanuelle Seigner) and Oscar, whose sadistic sexual past is the polar opposite of Fiona and Nigel’s. However, when Mimi, a seductive French woman, pulls the sexually unfulfilled Fiona onto the dance floor of a rocking ship, the two women lock hips and then lock lips. And as the scene ends, the ladies stroll past their respective husbands toward a cabin down below.

No.7 - Higher Learning (1995)

Jennifer Connelly & Kristy Swanson

Higher Learning is about the personal, the political and the racial. However, if we ignore the dramatic dilemmas facing the cast of university freshmen, we can focus on the sexual awakening that blossoms between Kristen (Kristy Swanson) and Taryn (Jennifer Connelly). While both are working for a women’s group, the girls discover that they may just be pitching for the other team, and so they kiss to seal the deal, and then retire to their dorm where they strip down to their panties and roll around in bed.

No.6 - Cruel Intentions (1999)

Selma Blair & Sarah Michelle Gellar

The famous kiss in Cruel Intentions is a lips-and-tongue close-up that leaves the naive Cecile (Selma Blair) wanting more. The trouble is, her high-society coach is Kathryn Merteuil (Sarah Michelle Gellar), a wealthy society girl who is only teaching Cecile how to kiss so that she will sleep around enough to damage her reputation. What better fodder could there be for a chicks kissing scene than a manipulative bitch and an innocent fox who’s as easy to mold as Silly Putty?

No.5 - Gia (1998)

Angelina Jolie & Elizabeth Mitchell

Gia is an HBO film that documented the rise and fall of Gia Carangi, one of America’s first supermodels. Angelina Jolie plays the voluptuous Gia, a tough and reckless woman from Philly who ventures to New York, willing to do whatever it takes to rise to the top of the modeling industry. It’s during her rise that Gia meets Linda (Elizabeth Mitchell), and the depiction of their steamy relationship is full of taut skin, luscious lips and licking tongues. Sadly, Gia also spent a fair bit of time shooting heroin, from which she contracted HIV and died by the time she was 26.

No.4 - The Hunger (1983)

Susan Sarandon & Catherine Deneuve

The Hunger is actually something of a horror flick based on the bizarre love triangle that emerges between a doctor (Susan Sarandon) and a chic vampire couple (David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve). Bowie’s character is John, who visits the doctor when he begins an accelerated aging process. The good doctor, intrigued by her patient’s unique symptoms, decides to visit John at his home where she is greeted by Myriam (Deneuve). Naturally, Myriam hungers for Dr. Sarah Roberts’ healthy blood. After a martini, a little small talk and some elegant shots of the two women, Sarandon wets her thin white T-shirt when she spills her drink over her breast, leading erotically to tender kisses on the good doctor’s lips and then all over her goose-bumped body. Finally, when the fatal bite comes, it is just as tender, as blood drips from Deneuve’s lips and appetizingly down Sarandon’s leg.

No.3 - Bound (1996)

Jennifer Tilly & Gina Gershon

Before the Wachowski brothers hit the jackpot with the Matrix trilogy, they released Bound, a neo-noir crime thriller that features one of cinema’s hottest chicks kissing scenes. The plot begins with the squeaky-voiced Violet (Jennifer Tilly) on the hunt for a way out of her relationship with her mob boyfriend. Enter ex-con Corky (Gina Gershon), a bull-dyke who happens to move in next door and is then commissioned to do some plumbing for the unhappy couple. Violet, desperate to get her own pipes running properly, sets out to seduce Corky and what a job she does. Dressed in black lingerie with cleavage that begs to be touched, she talks dirty, rubs the tattoo on her breast and then when Corky starts touching her, Violet pants and moans like a female tennis player. Finally, with Corky’s hand pressed firmly up her skirt, Violet pleads for a kiss.

No.2 - Wild Things (1998)

Denise Richards & Neve Campbell

Wild Things is downright ridiculous. Although it could be described as an erotic crime thriller, the plot is entirely too frivolous to call it anything other than first-rate eye candy. So when Suzie and Kelly (Neve Campbell and Denise Richards) find themselves in bikinis near the pool, we shouldn’t be surprised when a catfight breaks out and the girls finish in the pool where they kiss each other better. After all, the plot is only window dressing and an excuse for showing off the luscious curves of the two leading ladies.

No.1 - Mulholland Dr. (2001)

Naomi Watts & Laura Harring

David Lynch is an erotic filmmaker. In the old-school Greek sense of eros, Lynch withholds and conceals, teasing his audience with possibility rather than gratifying us with fulfillment. So, when it comes to filming the sexually erotic, Lynch knows how to build a seductive mood, leaving his audience on the verge, lusting for more.

In Mulholland Dr., Naomi Watts plays a naive blonde who’s desperate for Hollywood success, while Laura Harring is an amnesiac who can’t recall whether she’s ever made love with a woman. In a sense, the scene captures the allure of self-discovery by bringing the innocent blonde and the innocent brunette together. It’s like Betty and Veronica coming of age by choosing each other over that freckled loser Archie.

We all sat in front of the tube watching cartoons while growing up, but today, most of those shows we’ll never admit to having liked (Gummi Bears, anyone?). But there are at least a few that we can still admit to having watched without sounding like we were dorks:

10 Inspector Gadget (1982-1986).

What people most remember about this show is the theme song, and of course, when he said “Go go gadget (fill in the blank)!” This clumsy, absent-minded and oblivious detective, along with his dog Brain, battles Dr Claw.

Gadget works as an inspector for the Metro City police department. His missions often take him to a different exotic locale, generally without giving any explanation as to how a crime on the other side of the earth was of any interest to the Metro City police.

9 Real Ghostbusters (1986-1991).

Based on the 1984 megablockbuster Ghostbusters, this series continues the adventures of paranormal investigators Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore, Dr. Ray Stantz, their secretary Janine and their mascot ghost Slimer. All the kids in my neighborhood ran around wearing proton packs. Did you know that Arsenio Hall did the voice of Winston?

The Real Ghostbusters premiered on ABC on September 13, 1986. It continued airing weekly until the series conclusion on October 5, 1991.After the first season aired, the series entered syndication, during which new episodes aired each weekday.

8 Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids (1972-1984).

Out of all these cartoons, perhaps the only one that taught us any moral values. Bill Cosby’s creation ran for 12 years, far longer than most shows. Who can forget the North Philly Junkyard Gang with Fat Albert, Mushmouth, Dumb Donald and Weird Harold? Hey hey hey!

Fat Albert spoke to minority kids living ghetto lives; a segment of the population previously ignored by Saturday morning programming. The show always had an educational “lesson” emphasized by Cosby’s live cameos, and the gang always gathered in their north Philly junkyard to play a rock song on their cobbled-together instruments.

7 G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (1983-1987).

This show, which made kids want to join the army and fight Cobra, actually had two runs by different companies, after starting off as a mini-series. Favorite character, Snake Eyes, the ninja. Sgt. Slaughter of wrestling fame was a great addition to this cast of characters.

Produced by Hasbro, the toyline lasted from 1982 to 1994, producing well over 500 figures and 250 vehicles and playsets. The line reappeared in 1997 and has continued in one form or another to the present day. It was supported by two animated series as well as a major comic series published by Marvel Comics.

6 Thundercats (1985-1990).

Here we follow the adventures of the eponymous team of cat-like humanoid aliens from the planet of Thundera. Thundercats, ho!

The series was originally distributed by Telepictures Corporation which would later merge with Lorimar Productions, becoming Lorimar-Telepictures. Near the end of 1988, Lorimar-Telepictures was purchased by Warner Bros., whose television syndication arm would eventually assume distribution of the show; Warner Bros. would eventually gain rights to the series from that point on.

5 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-96).

Four wise-cracking, pizza-obsessed superheroes named after Renaissance artists fight the forces of evil from their sewer hideout. Who can forget Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and their mutant rat leader Master Splinter? And, of course, the oh-so-hot April O’Neil.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles originated in an American comic book published by Mirage Studios in 1984 in Northampton, Massachusetts. The concept arose from a humorous drawing sketched out by Kevin Eastman during a casual evening of brainstorming with his friend Peter Laird. Using money from a tax refund together with a loan from Eastman’s uncle, the young artists self-published a single issue comic intended to parody four of the most popular comics of the early 1980s

4 Duck Tales (1986-1991).

Huey, Dewey and Louie move in with Uncle Scrooge and outright hilarity ensues. Favorite character: Launchpad McQuack, who crashed every plane he flew. And let’s not forget those crazy masked Beagle Boys, who always tried to steal from Scrooge’s money pit.

Though Scrooge is the richest duck in the world, he constantly tries to find ways to increase his wealth. Many episodes involve protecting his wealth from villains who want to rob Scrooge of all his money. The prominent recurring antagonists in the show include the Beagle Boys and Magica De Spell who are always finding ways to rob and swindle Scrooge and his nephews.

3 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1987).

By the power of Grayskull, I have the power! He-man and his band of merry men face off against Skelator. The spin-off, She-Ra: Princess of Power, was good too only cause She-Ra was hot. What ruined this show was the addition of Orko, that red alien character brought in for comic relief. My favorite toy was Battle Cat.

It made its television debut in 1983 and ran until 1985, consisting of two seasons of 65 episodes each. Reruns continued to air in syndication until 1988, at which point USA Network bought the rights to the series. USA aired He-Man until September 1990. The website Hulu has some reruns of the original series available to view and Crackle has Minisodes of the first ten episodes.

2 Transformers (1984-88).

Generation 1 lasted from 1984-1987, as the More than meets the eye guys feature the Autobots with Optimus Prime against the Decepticons with Megatron. Anyone remember the GoBots? They actually came first, but when Transformers came around, GoBots got Betamaxed.

The largest Transformers story-arc, retroactively known as Transformers: Generation 1, includes both the TV series and Marvel comic, which further divided into Japanese and UK spin-offs respectively. Sequels followed, such as the Generation 2 comic book and Beast Wars TV series which became its own mini-universe.

1 Voltron, Defender of the Universe (1984-1987).

There were two variations of Voltron in the early seasons… the vehicle Voltron and the robotic lions. Haggar the witch split it into five parts, each a large robotic lion. One day Keith, a space explorer, found the parts and reassembled them. With his friends, Voltron was revived to protect the planet Arus once again from evil forces.

There has since been a second series, made in the 1990s using CGI techniques. The 1980s Voltron series was based on two unrelated Japanese anime series GoLion and Dairugger XV

Bankers and investors are probably among the most hated people around right now. So why not make yourself feel a bit better and watch those financial suits go bankrupt, get robbed or reveal their homicidal tendencies hollywood style!

Credit crunch. Global recession. Whatever you call it, there’s a lot less expendable cash around right now and lots of people are very nervous about the future. More and more people are opting not to go out and spend money on theatre tickets and expensive dinners. Instead, they’re staying in with a movie and a bottle of wine.

But what movies to watch during this time of financial crisis? Given much of the blame is placed on the banks for getting us into this mess, perhaps it’s the perfect time to take stock of some of the greatest banking movies of all time. In many of these films reviewed below the people who are for the banks end up becoming figures of fun, so sit back, open your popcorn, and have a good laugh at some unlucky bankers losing loads of money.

1. Other People’s Money (1991)

Danny DeVito plays Larry the Liquidator, a super-rich, arrogant, greedy, self-centred and ruthless business man. He’s the perfect character for a comedy banking movie. As he threatens a hostile take-over of a family-run company, the patriarch of the company enlists the help of his wife’s daughter, who is a lawyer, to try and protect their interests.

Larry enjoys sparring with her legal prowess, but does also fall for her. Of course he does – this is a comedy, right? In the end he has to decide whether he’s driven most by love or money. Director: Norman Jewison Stars: Danny DeVito, Gregory Peck, Penelope Ann Miller

2. Wall Street (1987)

Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen) is an ambitious Wall Street stockbroker in the 1980s. Any spare time he has is spent working an on angle with which to approach the high-powered, extremely successful broker Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas). Fox finally meets with the greedy Gekko, who takes the youth under his wing and explains his philosophy: Greed is Good.

Taking this advice and working closely with Gekko, Fox soon finds himself swept into a world of yuppies, shady business deals, fast money, and fast women – something at odds with his family values. Director: Oliver Stone Stars: Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen, Michael Douglas

3. Rogue Trader (1999)

This movie charts the true story of Barings Bank clerk and ambitious wide-boy Nick Leeson. Through a series of peculiar coincidences, he finds himself in Singapore setting up the bank’s future options trading operation. To save money Barings allows Nick to operate both the floor trading and the back office facilities and forces him to employ cheap, unskilled staff. Of course, Nick breaks trading rules and secretly covers up some losses, but his initial reports back to the bank are of success.

Given more freedom, even more money and continuing unchecked, Nick makes bigger losses and again attempts to trade out of them. But after a series of huge losses and irresponsible gambling of other people’s money he manages to bankrupt the entire institution. A lesson in how not to trade. Director: James Dearden Stars: Ewan McGregor, Anna Friel

4. Boiler Room (2000)

Seth Davis (Giovanni Ribisi) is an enterprising college dropout, running his own small illegal casino. The disapproval of his domineering father leads Seth to a career change into the investment business with a bunch of cocky, young Turks who seem to be making a lot more money than they should on mysterious investments pushed through aggressive cold calling.

At the same time, he finds a relationship forming with firm secretary, Abbie (Nia Long), who as luck would have it, was also formerly pursued by his new boss, which adds to the tensions of the high pressure job and mysterious profits. Director: Ben Younger Stars: Ben Affleck, Vin Diesel, Giovani Ribisi, Nia Long

5. The Italian Job (1969)

Everyone loves a good bank robbery movie, of which the The Italian Job is quite possibly the finest and most famous.

This infamous comedy movie tells the story of an ex-con who tries to steal $4 million in gold by causing a major traffic jam in the centre of Turin.

With its mini coopers, jaguars, bus and famous one-liners, this is a true British film classic. Director: Peter Collinson Stars: Michael Caine, Noel Coward

6. Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

This true story is set in San Francisco in 1981. Christopher Gardner has big dreams for his family, but it just never seems to work out. He invests the family savings in new bone-density scanning technology – apparatus twice as expensive as x-ray with practically the same resolution.

The white elephant financially breaks the family, bringing troubles to Gardner’s relationship with his wife. Without money and wife, but totally committed with his son, Christopher sees the chance to fight for a stockbroker internship position at Dean Witter, disputing for one career in the end of six months training period without any salary with other twenty candidates. Meanwhile, homeless, he has all sorts of difficulties with his son. Does he find happiness? Director: Gabriele Muccino Stars: Will Smith, Thandie Newton, Dan Castellaneta

7. American Psycho (2000)

This isn’t necessarily a banking movie, more a movie about a banking character. Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) is a wealthy 26-year-old, succesful investment banker in New York. He’s well-educated, intelligent and has more money than he knows what to do with: this is a guy who couldn’t care any less about cash back credit cards.

But there’s a terrible dark side to his personality as by night he turns into a homicidal monster whose hatred for the world leads him into murderous chaos. The movie is based on a novel by Brett Easton Ellis. The graphic scenes of sex and violence in the movie are much more tame than in the original book. Director: Mary Harron Stars: Christian Bale, Reese Witherspoon, Jared Leto

8. Barbarians at the Gate (1993)

This comedy television movie tells the story of an eager tobacco business CEO who plans to buy out the rest of the shareholders in his firm. After a series of confusing deals and potential takeovers, the tenders get messier (and funnier) as the zeros keep getting added. The film follows the actual takeover of the RJR Nabisco empire in a tongue in cheek way. The film’s tagline was, aptly: after a power breakfast they’ll still eat you for lunch. Director: Glenn Jordan Stars: James Garner, Jonathan Pryce

9. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

Bonnie (small town girl) and Clyde (drifting bank robber) dream of lives that will free them from the Depression of the 1920s. The two fall in love and begin a banking crime spree from Oklahoma to Texas. They rob small banks with skill and panache, soon becoming minor celebrities known across the country.

People are proud to have been held up by Bonnie and Clyde: to their victims, the duo is doing what nobody else has the guts to do, but to the law, the two are evil bank robbers who deserve to be gunned down where they stand. An American classic. Director: Arthur Penn Stars: Warren Featty, Faye Dunnaway, Gene Hackman

10. The Bank Job (2008)

In September 1971, thieves tunneled into the vault of a bank in London’s Baker Street and looted safe deposit boxes of cash and jewelry worth over three million pounds. None of it was recovered. Nobody was ever arrested. The robbery made headlines for a few days and then disappeared – the result of a ‘D’ Notice, gagging the press. This film reveals what was hidden for the first time. The story involves murder, corruption and a sex scandal with links to the Royal Family – a story in which the thieves were the most innocent people involved.

VIA

Publisher Quirk Books and author Seth Grahame-Smith have come up with the best way to make a literary work more accessible since the creation of Classics Illustrated comic books: they’ve added “all-new scenes of bone crunching zombie action” to Jane Austen’s 19th century novel Pride and Prejudice. This new version, out in stores this May, is titled Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now With Ultraviolent Mayhem! And if you didn’t think it was a masterpiece before, chances are you will now.

Could we do the same thing to classic films? Well, the technology to add extraneous enhancements to movies exists. Just check out The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for proof. But like Pride and Prejudice, we’d need to “enhance” films in the public domain if we wanted to get away with it. Fortunately, there are hundreds of such titles (see a list at Wikipedia), some of which actually already have zombies (Night of the Living Dead, White Zombie, Revolt of the Zombies, and in a way the “scientific” film Experiments in the Revival of Organisms).

Avoiding the majority of public domain movies already consisting of horror and science fiction elements, we’ve come up with ten great classic films that would be even greater with the addition of zombies.

Battleship Potemkin (Sergei Eisenstin, 1925)

New title: Mutinous Zombies of the Battleship Potemkin

Synopsis: A Soviet cinema masterpiece, Eisenstein’s film depicts the 1905 uprising of zombies on the titular vessel against the oppressive officers of the Tsarist regime. It begins when soldiers aboard the Potemkin are forced to eat rotten, maggot-infested meat, which turns the men into mutinous zombies. Later, the city of Odessa becomes overwhelmed with undead citizens and the Tsarist military is sent in to massacre them. In the end, though, even the soldiers are converted. Other Eisenstein films, particularly October, may also appropriately receive similar special zombie editions.

The General (Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton, 1927)

New title: The General and the Zombies

Synopsis: Buster Keaton’s greatest silent blockbuster is kind of like the Shaun of the Dead of its time. The film begins with Keaton’s character losing his girlfriend due to his inability to prove he’s not a coward and a bum, but then by happenstance he ends up a hero and, most importantly, salvages his relationship in the process. In this special edition, Johnnie Gray still has to rescue his train (and his girlfriend) from the Union army, but now those Northern spies are zombies. Like the title character in Shaun of the Dead, Johnnie must in one new scene impersonate a zombie in order to fool them. The stone-faced Keaton is a natural for this masquerade, but of course then soldiers on his side mistake him for being a Union zombie, with hilarious consequences.

Abraham Lincoln (D.W. Griffith, 1930)

New title: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

Synopsis: Griffith’s biopic about the 16th President of the United States was filled with historical inaccuracies when first released almost 80 years ago. The main complaint? Griffith left out Lincoln’s triumphant one-man battle against a Confederate brigade made up completely of zombie soldiers (yep, the South had them, too). Now, in a special edition release timed to coincide with Honest Abe’s 200th birthday, scenes depicting that battle, as well as a new ending, in which Lincoln recommends the enslavement of zombies, because they are not technically men and therefore are not guaranteed Constitutional freedom, are included. Also, on the DVD: a bonus behind-the-scenes supplement featuring a still-undead Lincoln zombie overseeing the restoration; an exclusive look at Lincoln’s famous stovepipe hat, which he wore to keep zombies from getting at his brains. (The above image of Abe Lincoln, Zombie Hunter is from this t-shirt.)

At the Circus (Edward Buzzell, 1939)

New title: At the Zombie Circus

Synopsis: The Marx Brothers’ films were crazy enough without the addition of zombies, but this late episode from Groucho, Harpo and Chico just wasn’t anarchic enough for their fans. So, now the plot involving the stolen money has been eliminated and the film consists of the three Marx boys trying to stay alive inside a circus tent filled with zombies. There’s a strong man zombie, a dwarf zombie, and then there’s Margaret Dumont, who is so dull Groucho thinks she’s a zombie. Or maybe he just stabs her in the brain for fun?

His Girl Friday (Howard Hawks, 1940)

New title: His Girl Zombie

Synopsis: Despite the new title, Rosalind Russell is never turned into a zombie. Rather, the zombies are merely in the background, causing even more fast-paced hysterics (yes, they’re the quick sort of zombies that are all the “rage” these days). Actually, at one point Ralph Bellamy’s character is thought to be a zombie, but then it’s realized that as much as he appears to be the walking dead, he’s just too slow to be one of the zombies running around outside the courthouse. Again, His Girl Zombie has something in common with Shaun of the Dead (not to mention Twister), in that it’s another story in which a couple attempts to separate but is thrust back together during a chaotic event.

Angel and the Badman (James Edward Grant, 1947)

New title: Angel and the Badman and the Zombies

Synopsis: In this early precursor to the ‘80s Harrison Ford classic Witness Zombies, John Wayne plays a shootist and womanizer who is wounded near a Quaker family home. Brought in and nursed back to health, he attempts to tame himself after falling for a young Quaker woman. But his desire to become a pacifist is made difficult when brain-hungry zombies attack the house, and he must choose to either commit himself to the Quaker ways and “die” with his new religious society of friends, or go out and kick some zombie ass.

D.O.A. (Rudolph Mate, 1950)

New title: Z.O.A.

Synopsis: The film begins with Frank Bigelow, filmed from behind, entering a police station to report that he’s been murdered. The reason he is able to do this is not because he’s not yet died from the poison; it’s because he is a zombie, which we finally discover when the camera finally shows us his face. The film then goes to flashback and details the events that lead to Bigelow’s zombification. After the back-story is complete, the film returns to the scene in the police station, where cops proceed to shoot Bigelow in the head. His file is then marked “Z.O.A.,” meaning “zombie on arrival.”

Royal Wedding (Stanley Donen, 1951)

New title: Zombie Wedding

Synopsis: Fred Astaire and Jane Powell star as a brother and sister song and dance duo in this musical classic, which features two of Astaire’s most famous scenes. “Zombie Jumps” has him dancing first with a coat rack, then with a corpse, Weekend at Bernie’s-style. The latter of these objects ends up coming to life, a metaphor for Astaire’s famous ability to animate the inanimate. In “You’re All Zombies to Me,” Astaire playfully escapes from the zombie he’s created by dancing on the walls and ceiling of a room.

Beat the Devil (John Huston, 1953)

New title: Beat the Devil and the Zombies

Synopsis: It’s been called the first camp movie, but unfortunately it wasn’t the first camp zombie movie. That all changes now with newly added scenes in which Humphrey Bogart and a great ensemble of character actors, including Peter Lorre, must fight off zombies while killing time at an Italian port. It’s very likely that Huston and co-screenwriter Truman Capote would have no problem with this additional subplot. Anyone familiar with the background of the film knows its makers didn’t take it seriously in the least. Actually, let’s just go ahead and add zombies into every section of the film. Zombies on the boat, zombies in Africa, zombies everywhere. Heck, make Bogie a zombie due to a lack of money. After all, as his character sets it up with the line, “I’ve got to have money. Doctor’s orders are that I must have a lot of money, otherwise I become dull, listless and have trouble with my complexion.”

It’s a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946)

New title: It’s a Zombie Life

Synopsis: On Christmas Eve, George Bailey wishes he were a zombie. But before he can find another zombie to bite him, an angel comes down from Heaven and shows him what his life would be like if he were undead. Zombie George infects the whole town of Bedford Falls, all except the wealthy Mr. Potter, who manages to take over the town by enslaving and exploiting the zombified citizens. In the end, George realizes that he’s better off simply shooting himself in the head so that he can’t possibly become a zombie. (Note: It’s a Wonderful Life is actually no longer in the public domain, but we just couldn’t not include it).

Click on images to enlarge  .

CASABLANCA – Love, war, intrigue… all woven into the tapestry of a movie is perhaps what makes ‘Casablanca’ stand out as one of those timeless classics. It speaks about love, marriage and infidelity. The tried and tested recipe for the perfect romance.

Casablanca (1942) is an American romantic drama film directed by Michael Curtiz, starring Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman and Paul Henreid and featuring Claude Rains, Conrad Veidt, Sydney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre. Set during World War II, it focuses on a man torn between, in the words of one character, love and virtue. He must choose between his love for a woman and helping her and her Resistance leader husband escape from the Vichy-controlled Moroccan city of Casablanca to continue his fight against the Nazis.

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Kellvin here giving the Latino Review readers what they are accustomed to around here, some breaking news!

One of our faithful followers last night got to see the final cut of the highly anticipated film “Watchmen,” in Los Angeles.

Watchmen movie poster

I am hoping this movie is going to be huge. When I first heard about it; I have to admit I had not read the graphic novel. So like the true student of the film that I am, I went out and did my research by purchasing a copy my hard earned dinero!

The book was awesome, and he first thing I thought was “How are they going to pull this off?” its no wonder why this film could not be done 20 years ago. There just was not enough technology around that could do this story justice.

Since the studio announced that Watchmen was going to be made, the Internet has been flooded with fan boy discussion about who would direct it, and who would play The Watchmen, and would the film be faithful to the novel? Well according to our loyal follower, Bentley Mustafa, yes, yes, and YES!

Now before we dive into this, I want to warn you that there will be huge spoilers, so if you do not want to know what’s in the film, stop reading now…. otherwise, sit your ass down and get ready for some Watchmen 411!

Here’s what Bentley Mustafa has to say about the screening.

There were approximately 200 people at the screening.

1.  No Black Freighter, although we do catch glimpses of the newsstand and the kid who reads the comic, but only briefly.

2. The ending is different, no squid.  I was one of the people who never really cared about squid/no squid, but I feel the ending will work better for mainstream audiences that have never read the book.

3. They do not imply a sequel anymore than the book does…

4.  The montage covering the heroes of the past is done exceptionally well, and was longer than I expected.  Allows the audience to understand that this is an alternate version of the past and everything they know should be thrown out the window.

5. It is dark, but not the stark realism that fills the Dark Knight.  The Watchmen reality is a little more surreal in its feel, like a dream.  It really has the feel of the comic in it.

6. Look for the cameo by Snyder’s son. He also played young Leonidas in 300.

7. It was fantastically close to the book; even the framings of shots were lifted directly from the book.

8. Jackie Earl Halley is the shit in this.  He IS Rorschach.

9. This movie is gory.  I’m a gore hound and I was surprised at how graphic some scenes were.  Really had people squirming.

10. NAKED Sally Jupiter. (CORRECTION NAKED Silk Spectre)

11. Only character I didn’t like was Veidt/Ozymandias.  I thought the actor was weak.

I have to say Snyder knocked this one out of the park.  There is some gruesome, brutal stuff here that is hard to watch.  The fight scenes are awesome, and, like in 300, Snyder continues the use of ramping the frame rate to accentuate the movements of the characters. I knew there was going to be some slo-mo, but I didn’t think he overdid it. All in all, fans of the book are going to more than pleased with the film.  For a book that was for years considered un-filmable, he certainly managed to hit almost every beat and did not compromise any of the material (except for the squid).

So there you have it folks, breaking news once again brought to you by yours truly. I cannot wait for the films release; it will definitely up the ante for comic book adaptations in the future.

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For trailer click here

Inglourious Basterds is an upcoming ensemble war film/spaghetti western written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. It has the largest cast of characters (with speaking roles) of any Tarantino film to date and is currently in production with several locations, among them Germany and France. Tarantino plans to complete production of Inglourious Basterds in time for release at the Cannes Film Festival in May 2009. Filming began in October 2008. The title (and partial premise) of the upcoming film is inspired by Italian director Enzo Castellari‘s 1978 movie Inglorious Bastards. The Weinstein Company has slated August 21, 2009 as the tentative U.S. release date.

movie poster

Entering the 21st century, director Quentin Tarantino had been penning several scripts, including one for the World War II adventure film that would eventually become Inglourious Basterds. Tarantino described the premise in October 2001, “It’s my bunch-of-guys-on-a-mission film. It’s my Dirty Dozen or Where Eagles Dare or Guns of Navarone kind of thing.” The premise had begun as a Western and evolved into a World War II version of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly set in Nazi-occupied France. The story changed to be about two maverick units from the United States Army that had “a habit of scalping Germans” before changing again.

Actor Michael Madsen, who appeared in Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs, was originally reported to star in the movie, then called Inglorious Bastards, which had been scheduled for release in 2004. By 2002, Tarantino found Inglorious Bastards to be a bigger film than planned and saw that other directors were working on World War II films. Tarantino had produced three nearly finished scripts, saying, “It was some of the best writing I’ve ever done. But I couldn’t come up with an ending.” The director held off his planned film and moved on to direct the two-part film Kill Bill (2003-2004) with Uma Thurman in the lead role. After the completion of Kill Bill, Tarantino trimmed the length of the script, which was reportedly three films long, to 222 pages. The director eventually planned to begin production of Inglorious Bastards late in 2005. The revised premise focused on a group of soldiers who escape from their executions and embark on a mission to help the Allies. The director described the men as “not your normal hero types that are thrown into a big deal in the Second World War”.

Tarantino also sought to present the film as a Spaghetti Western set in Nazi-occupied France. He explained his intent, “I’m going to find a place that actually resembles, in one way or another, the Spanish locales they had in spaghetti Westerns—a no man’s land. With American soldiers and French peasants and the French resistance and Nazi occupiers, it was kind of a no man’s land. That will really be my spaghetti Western but with World War II iconography. But the thing is, I won’t be period specific about the movie. I’m not just gonna play a lot of Édith Piaf and Andrews Sisters. I can have rap, and I can do whatever I want. It’s about filling in the viscera.” The director described the scale of the project, “It’ll be epic and have my take of the sociological battlefield at that time with the racism and barbarism on all sides—the Nazi side, the American side, the black and Jewish soldiers and the French, because it all takes place in France.” Tarantino planned to set the film around the time of D-Day (June 6, 1944) and afterward.

In November 2004, the director decided to hold off production of Inglourious Basterds and instead film a kung fu movie entirely in Mandarin. Tarantino ultimately directed a part of the 2007 Grindhouse instead, returning to work on Inglorious Bastards after finishing promotion for Grindhouse. The director teamed with The Weinstein Company to prepare Inglorious Bastards for production. In September 2007, The Irish Times reported the film’s scheduled release for 2008, writing, “Inglorious Bastards, a war movie that may eventually resemble The Dirty Dozen merged with Cross of Iron, has been predicted more often than the second coming of the Lord.”

Several Tarantino fan sites have already begun posting reviews and excerpts from the film’s script. Since mid-October 2008 the film is in principal photography on location in Germany.

The teaser trailer will premiere on Entertainment Tonight on the 10th February, and will be in American theaters the following week attatched to Friday the 13th

The film will be released on August 19th in France, two days earlier than the US release.

Typically, the children in horror movies are either the unwilling messengers of doom or are evil themselves. Either way, the dialogue these kids have to spout is usually pretty eerie and often not something you’d want to hear coming out of the mouths of babes.

Here’s a look at 9 chilling quotes spoken by children in some of our favorite horror/thriller films.

Poltergeist

“They’re here …”

Is there any more classic moment than when Carol Anne turns away from the static TV and says to Craig T. Nelson, “They’re here”? The sing-song delivery, the creepy little toe-headed kid, everything about the scene is unnerving. The reality of what happened to Poltergeist star Heather O’Rourke only adds to the enduring scariness. The sad thing is that the scene is now being used to sell cable TV, which seems a crass and careless way to tread on someone’s memory.

The Sixth Sense

Of course, the most famous of the creepy little kids of the last decade is Haley Joel Osmet in The Sixth Sense, when he imparted those famous words to Bruce Willis, “I see dead people.” Coming at about the midway point of the film, those four little words explain what has been going on in the film, and opens the door for the much larger surprise that comes at the end. A lot of people would argue that writer/director M. Night Shyamalan has been making the same film ever since and that none of his other films have lived up to the promise of that first success, but if nothing else, he has given us one of the most memorable film experiences ever.

The Shining

While Jack Nicholson’s psychotic axe-wielding family man Jack Torrance managed to scare the crap out of us — and has one of the greatest movies lines ever with “Here’s Johnny!” — it was really Jack’s young son Danny who had the most chilling scenes of the film. In this Stanley Kubrick adaptation of the classic Stephen King novel, a writer takes a job as the winter caretaker at what turns out to be a haunted hotel. After Jack, his wife, and their young son Danny move into the hotel, it’s revealed that the young boy has “the shining,” an ability to see ghosts. Eventually, Danny begins to repeatedly chant “redrum” in a deep voice while holding a knife in one hand while writing the word in red lipstick on a door with the other — that’s creepy enough. It becomes even more chilling when we find out what “redrum” actually means.

The Exorcist

There are so many chilling and iconic moments packed into Linda Blair’s performance as the possessed Regan MacNeil that choosing just one singular moment is pretty difficult. Nearly every moment of dialogue that takes place between Father Karras and Regan during the Exorcism scenes are far beyond mere disturbing. Most of the gems concern Karras’s mother, like “Your mother’s in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I’ll see that she gets it.” and the infamous “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell…”, or even parroting his Mother’s dementia-filled agony with “Why you do this to me, Dimi? Please Dimi, I’m afraid.” Yet for me the creepiest bit in the film takes place before the actual possession at her mom’s cocktail party. Amid the festivities of a piano-fueled singalong Regan pulls a true show-stopper when after being put to bed she returns to the party and sidles up to an Astronaut (we should all have one Astronaut buddy). In a monotonous deadpan Regan say “You’re gonna die up there.” followed by her letting loose a load of piss on the rug. Now, a little girl in pajamas telling a spaceman he’s gonna be orbital toast the day before his launch is eerie enough, but that piss-filled encore takes the moment beyond mere creepy and into utra-disturbing territory.

Interview With The Vampire

Little Claudia (Kirsten Dunst) is a beautiful girl perfectly dressed and coiffed, just like the numerous dolls that decorate her room. But she’ll never be truly happy, because she’s a child vampire who’ll live forever, yet never grow into a woman. This is the one thing she desires — so much so, amongst her dolls she hides the corpse of a female victim she wanted to emulate, which prompts a heated argument with her “father” and maker Lestat (Tom Cruise). Seemingly to make up for the fight, little Claudia brings Lestat twin boys to fed on, concealing that the boys are already dead — and drinking from the dead is a big vampire no-no. To coax Lestat to drink, Claudia so sweetly says “I promise I’ll get rid of the bodies.” Lestat takes the bait, which allows Claudia to finish him off. This “child” may seem innocent and look like a little angel, but underneath it all, she’s the deadliest of them all.

The Good Son

Macaulay Culkin was on a meteoric rise in the early 1990s with the success of the first two Home Alone movies, so it might not have been the best idea for the child star to headline the 1993 thriller The Good Son as the “bad son.” Culkin’s Henry goes far beyond spilling some milk. He’s an innocent-looking boy with malicious intent and no conscience. He will harm with no remorse. The film’s climatic scene is truly a cliffhanger: After trying to kill his own mother, Susan, Henry hangs from a cliff alongside his “good” cousin Mark (Elijah Wood). Holding one boy in each hand, Susan tries to pull them both to safety when Henry tells her, “Mom, I need your other hand” leaving Susan with the dilemma of who to save — her innocent nephew or her evil son?

Damien: Omen II

The 1970s loved to pair children with the devil, as we saw with The Exorcist. But with The Omen, instead of the child being possessed by the Devil, this 1976 horror film centered around the spawn of Satan — the Antichrist. While the original film was frightening enough, Satan’s son Damien was just a small child who didn’t say much. But in the 1978 sequel, Damien still doesn’t know of his true nature, until he begins to come of age and starts to feel a change. When he finds out that the AntiChrist has a 666 birthmark, he checks his scalp and discovers he has it. As horrifying as the gruesome deaths in the movie were, it’s Damien’s discovery of his true Satanic heritage — complete with an anguished “Why me?” — that’s truly bone-chilling.

Pet Semetary

For me personally, it does not get any more terrifying than adorable little Gage from Pet Semetary. If the horror of your baby son being hit by a speeding 18-wheeler isn’t enough to begin with, this little one is buried in then that wacky cemetery. A little bit of Monkey’s Paw later, well, we all know what happens there… back comes little Gage, only quite different now. That kid, with his little outfits and his knife and tiny high-pitched voice is enough to make me weep, especially when he’s bringing a knife to his mother, saying “I brought you something, Mommy” as if it will be a sweet surprise for her.

Children of the Corn

Let’s face it, the entire premise of Children of the Corn and its numerous sequels is one big creepy-children horror fest, from its brainwashed children with pitchforks chanting “KILL!” to its charismatic child leader Isaac and his eerie preaching about the evil god of corn known as “He Who Walks Behind the Rows.” While driving through Nebraska, Linda Hamilton and the guy from 30 Something have a run-in with the murderous children who sacrifice adults to the evil corn god. When Isaac has a disagreement with his right-hand man Malachai, the latter has Isaac crucified as a sacrifice to their god. As Isaac awaits death on the corn cross, he spouts off about how he is the giver of “His” word and how the children will pay for their treachery and disobedience to Isaac’s teachings. After his death, in true biblical form, Isaac is resurrected. Looking like he just put his finger in an electrical socket, the prophet Isaac returns to bring vengeance from their God to Malachai. In a possessed voice, the young Isaac tells his betrayer, “He wants you too, Malachai.”

VIA

Men might be the oft leading candidates for the bad-ass heroes in films, but women have had their share of butt-kicking screen time as well. Here are the top ten Bad Ass Women of all time.

10. Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991)

Skynet, the 21st century computer waging a losing war on humans sends a second terminator back in time to destroy the leader of the human resistance while he is still a boy. His mother is the only one who knows of the existence of the Terminators, human-like robots that exist only to kill and are nearly indestructible, and she, the boy’s mother, is currently in a state mental hospital because of her ‘delusions’. A second protector is sent back to the past by the Human resistance to protect John Connor, their future leader, at all costs. All in order to protect her son, the future leader of the resistance against the machines, Sarah kicks a sizable amount of ass.

9. Lori Petty as Tank Girl (Rebecca) TANK GIRL (1995)

Tank Girl (Rebecca) and her friends are the only remaining citizens living in the wasteland that is Earth, where all the remaining water is controlled by Water and Power, the mega corporation/government that runs the territory. While incarcerated at W + P, Tank Girl and her new friend Jet Girl break out and steal… a tank and a jet. After meeting some mutant kangaroo/humans, and rescuing her little girl (adopted by her friends), the kangaroos and the girls kick Water and Powers’ ass. Based on a comic series, it tends to take a more comedic approach to the subject, but there is little doubt that Tank Girl kicks ass.

8. Michelle Yeoh & Zhang Ziyi as Yu Shu Lien & Jen Yu CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON (2000)

Wo hu cang long (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon) is a timeless story that takes place in QING China when miracles were credible and spirits and gods were present in man’s world. It is not unbelievable that zen warriors float through the air, skim the water and battle in trees and on rooftops. Pain, revenge and duty are the stuff that bind us in this world and are the main plot line of the movie, but in the afterlife love and faith linger on. Along with Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun Fat), the ladies in this movie are graceful and downright deadly.

7. Uma Thurman as Beatrix Kiddo (The Bride) KILL BILL VOL. I-II (2003-4)

The lead character, called ‘The Bride,’ was a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, lead by her lover ‘Bill.’ Upon realizing she was pregnant with Bill’s child, ‘The Bride’ decided to escape her life as a killer. She fled to Texas, met a young man, and on the day of their wedding was gunned down by an angry and jealous Bill (with the assistance of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad). Four years later, ‘The Bride’ wakes from a coma, and discovers her baby is gone. She, then, decides to seek revenge upon the five people who destroyed her life and killed her baby. Beatrix absolutely goes all out as she individually hunts and eliminates every member of the D.V.A.S., finally getting to Bill, her desired target. Kicks ass!

6. Carrie Fischer as Princess Leia THE STAR WARS TRILOGY (1977-1983)

Snide, snarky, and about as un-princess-like as one could be, Leia Organa takes charge of her rag-tag rescue band from the moment Han, Luke, and Chewie release her from the cell block. Defiant, cock-sure, and a natural leader, Leia eventually safely delivers the Death Star plans to the Rebel resistance via R2-D2 and sets into motion the utter collapse and downfall of the Galactic Empire. If there was any Imperial ass to kick, Leia was there with blaster in hand. And was there ever any doubt that she’d eventually hook up with a galactic smuggler?

5. Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft TOMB RAIDER (2001-03)

Based on the popular video game series, Tomb Raider features the adventures of Lara Croft an antiquities hunter-for-hire. She travels to exotic locales in search of treasures and artifacts in the catacombs of ancient tombs and ruins remaining from age-old empires. A female Indiana Jones, Croft’s expeditions are always chock full of action, danger, intrigue, suspense and her omnipresent knack for defying death in skin-tight outfits. Looking good and kicking ass is a winning combination.

4. Sheri Moon Zombie as Baby Firefly HOUSE OF A 1000 CORPSES & THE DEVILS REJECTS (2003-05)

The sequel to ‘House of 1000 Corpses’, ‘The Devil’s Rejects,’ takes place a few months later with the Texas State Police making a full-scale attack against the murderous Firefly family residence for the 1,000+ murders and disappearances of the past several years. But three of the family members escape, including Otis, Baby Firefly and Baby’s father Captain Spaulding. The evil trio go on a road trip, leaving dozens of mangled bodies in their wake. Evading a massive Texas Rangers dragnet as well as a group of equally murderous bounty hunters led by Ken Dwyer (the brother of a policeman Mamma Firefly killed in ‘House of…’) who’s obsessed with finding the deadly killers, the surviving Firefly clan gather at a run-down amusement park owned by Captain Spaulding’s half-brother, Charlie Altamont, who offers them shelter and a new base of operations for their killing spree as Sheriff Dwyer, the Texas Rangers, the FBI and others slowly close in. Though gruesome and sadistic, Baby kicks all kinds of ass.

3. Devon Aoki as Miho SIN CITY (2005)

“Sin City” is infested with criminals, crooked cops and sexy dames, some searching for vengeance, some for redemption and others, both. The film incorporates storylines from three of Miller’s graphic novels including ‘Sin City,’ which launched the long-running, critically acclaimed series, as well as ‘That Yellow Bastard’ and ‘The Big Fat Kill.’ Where Hartigan, a cop with a bum ticker and a vow to protect stripper Nancy. Marv, the outcast misanthrope, is on a mission to avenge the death of his one true love, Goldie; there’s also Dwight, the clandestine love of Shelley who spends his nights defending Gail and her Old Towne girls from Jackie Boy, a dirty cop with a penchant for violence. Miho resides in Old Towne and with one word from Gail, the appointed matriarch, Miho dispatches raiders and men alike with razor-sharp accuracy. She kicks serious ass.

2. Mila Jovovich as Alice RESIDENT EVIL, RE: APOCALYPSE, RE: EXTINCTION (2002-07)

A virus has escaped into a secret facility called “The Hive,” which chemically turns the staff (Umbrella Corporation) into man-eating zombies and releasing the mutated lab animals that they were studying. The complex computer (The Red Queen) shuts down the base to prevent further infection. The parent corporation sends in a military unit, where they meet Alice who has only a short time to remember who she is and the state of her mission, and is suffering from amnesia due to the nerve gas released into her bathroom. The military must shut down the computer (The Red Queen) and make their way back out of the Hive. Fighting their way past zombies, mutants and The Red Queen before the T-Virus escapes and effects the rest of the world. Its up to Alice to defeat the virus, if she loses, we all lose. And yes, she defeats them so thoroughly through three well-made films, kicking zombie ass all the way through.

1. Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley ALIEN, ALIENS, ALIEN 3, ALIEN RESURRECTION (1979-97)

Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), the sole survivor of the alien attack on the mining ship Nostromo, awakens half a century later when she is found by a salvage ship. The welcome given to her by the “Company” officials is far from warm, since they refuse to believe her discovery of alien existence and strip her off her flight officer’s license. Ripley also discovers, much to her horror, that the planet LV-426 where her crew had encountered an alien species for the first time, is now colonized by the company. But when all contact from the planet is lost Ripley is called back into action again as an advisor to a team of tough space marines with lots of firepower. To get rid of her recurrent nightmares about the alien creature, Ripley prepares for a final battle with the monsters – and this time, there are hundreds of them out there. Going from unwitting recipient to a monsters attack, to a vicious military scourge, to a prisoner, to an alien/human hybrid, Ellen Ripley kicks ass for 200 solid years. The very best of the best.

Coraline is a horror novella by British author Neil Gaiman, published in 2002 by Bloomsbury and Harper Collins. It was awarded the 2003 Hugo Award for Best Novella, the 2003 Nebula Award for Best Novella, and the 2002 Bram Stoker Award for Best Work for Young Readers. It has been compared to Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland because of its surrealism and plot based in an alternate-reality.

For Coraline Editor’s note see here

Coraline movie poster

Having recently moved into a new apartment with her loving but distracted and preoccupied parents, Coraline finds herself bored one rainy day and, upon her father’s suggestion, decides to explore the flat. She finds a locked door in the drawing room, which her mother opens and explains once led to the flat next door but was bricked up when the building (which was once a single house) was separated into apartments. That night, Coraline hears a strange noise and the door, which was previously closed by her mother, is slightly open. Read More