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Top Ten Cartoons in the 80s(4) We all sat in front of the tube watching cartoons while growing up, but today, most of those shows we’ll never admit to having liked (Gummi Bears, anyone?). But there are at least a few that we can still admit to having watched without sounding like we were dorks: 10 Inspector Gadget (1982-1986). What people most remember about this show is the theme song, and of course, when he said “Go go gadget (fill in the blank)!” This clumsy, absent-minded and oblivious detective, along with his dog Brain, battles Dr Claw. Gadget works as an inspector for the Metro City police department. His missions often take him to a different exotic locale, generally without giving any explanation as to how a crime on the other side of the earth was of any interest to the Metro City police.
9 Real Ghostbusters (1986-1991). Based on the 1984 megablockbuster Ghostbusters, this series continues the adventures of paranormal investigators Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore, Dr. Ray Stantz, their secretary Janine and their mascot ghost Slimer. All the kids in my neighborhood ran around wearing proton packs. Did you know that Arsenio Hall did the voice of Winston? The Real Ghostbusters premiered on ABC on September 13, 1986. It continued airing weekly until the series conclusion on October 5, 1991.After the first season aired, the series entered syndication, during which new episodes aired each weekday. 8 Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids (1972-1984). Out of all these cartoons, perhaps the only one that taught us any moral values. Bill Cosby’s creation ran for 12 years, far longer than most shows. Who can forget the North Philly Junkyard Gang with Fat Albert, Mushmouth, Dumb Donald and Weird Harold? Hey hey hey! Fat Albert spoke to minority kids living ghetto lives; a segment of the population previously ignored by Saturday morning programming. The show always had an educational “lesson” emphasized by Cosby’s live cameos, and the gang always gathered in their north Philly junkyard to play a rock song on their cobbled-together instruments. 7 G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (1983-1987). This show, which made kids want to join the army and fight Cobra, actually had two runs by different companies, after starting off as a mini-series. Favorite character, Snake Eyes, the ninja. Sgt. Slaughter of wrestling fame was a great addition to this cast of characters. Produced by Hasbro, the toyline lasted from 1982 to 1994, producing well over 500 figures and 250 vehicles and playsets. The line reappeared in 1997 and has continued in one form or another to the present day. It was supported by two animated series as well as a major comic series published by Marvel Comics. Here we follow the adventures of the eponymous team of cat-like humanoid aliens from the planet of Thundera. Thundercats, ho! The series was originally distributed by Telepictures Corporation which would later merge with Lorimar Productions, becoming Lorimar-Telepictures. Near the end of 1988, Lorimar-Telepictures was purchased by Warner Bros., whose television syndication arm would eventually assume distribution of the show; Warner Bros. would eventually gain rights to the series from that point on.
5 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-96). Four wise-cracking, pizza-obsessed superheroes named after Renaissance artists fight the forces of evil from their sewer hideout. Who can forget Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and their mutant rat leader Master Splinter? And, of course, the oh-so-hot April O’Neil. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles originated in an American comic book published by Mirage Studios in 1984 in Northampton, Massachusetts. The concept arose from a humorous drawing sketched out by Kevin Eastman during a casual evening of brainstorming with his friend Peter Laird. Using money from a tax refund together with a loan from Eastman’s uncle, the young artists self-published a single issue comic intended to parody four of the most popular comics of the early 1980s Huey, Dewey and Louie move in with Uncle Scrooge and outright hilarity ensues. Favorite character: Launchpad McQuack, who crashed every plane he flew. And let’s not forget those crazy masked Beagle Boys, who always tried to steal from Scrooge’s money pit. Though Scrooge is the richest duck in the world, he constantly tries to find ways to increase his wealth. Many episodes involve protecting his wealth from villains who want to rob Scrooge of all his money. The prominent recurring antagonists in the show include the Beagle Boys and Magica De Spell who are always finding ways to rob and swindle Scrooge and his nephews. 3 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1987). By the power of Grayskull, I have the power! He-man and his band of merry men face off against Skelator. The spin-off, She-Ra: Princess of Power, was good too only cause She-Ra was hot. What ruined this show was the addition of Orko, that red alien character brought in for comic relief. My favorite toy was Battle Cat. It made its television debut in 1983 and ran until 1985, consisting of two seasons of 65 episodes each. Reruns continued to air in syndication until 1988, at which point USA Network bought the rights to the series. USA aired He-Man until September 1990. The website Hulu has some reruns of the original series available to view and Crackle has Minisodes of the first ten episodes. Generation 1 lasted from 1984-1987, as the More than meets the eye guys feature the Autobots with Optimus Prime against the Decepticons with Megatron. Anyone remember the GoBots? They actually came first, but when Transformers came around, GoBots got Betamaxed. The largest Transformers story-arc, retroactively known as Transformers: Generation 1, includes both the TV series and Marvel comic, which further divided into Japanese and UK spin-offs respectively. Sequels followed, such as the Generation 2 comic book and Beast Wars TV series which became its own mini-universe. 1 Voltron, Defender of the Universe (1984-1987). There were two variations of Voltron in the early seasons… the vehicle Voltron and the robotic lions. Haggar the witch split it into five parts, each a large robotic lion. One day Keith, a space explorer, found the parts and reassembled them. With his friends, Voltron was revived to protect the planet Arus once again from evil forces. There has since been a second series, made in the 1990s using CGI techniques. The 1980s Voltron series was based on two unrelated Japanese anime series GoLion and Dairugger XV
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10 Classic Films That Would Be Better With Zombies(0) Publisher Quirk Books and author Seth Grahame-Smith have come up with the best way to make a literary work more accessible since the creation of Classics Illustrated comic books: they’ve added “all-new scenes of bone crunching zombie action” to Jane Austen’s 19th century novel Pride and Prejudice. This new version, out in stores this May, is titled Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now With Ultraviolent Mayhem! And if you didn’t think it was a masterpiece before, chances are you will now. Could we do the same thing to classic films? Well, the technology to add extraneous enhancements to movies exists. Just check out The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for proof. But like Pride and Prejudice, we’d need to “enhance” films in the public domain if we wanted to get away with it. Fortunately, there are hundreds of such titles (see a list at Wikipedia), some of which actually already have zombies (Night of the Living Dead, White Zombie, Revolt of the Zombies, and in a way the “scientific” film Experiments in the Revival of Organisms). Avoiding the majority of public domain movies already consisting of horror and science fiction elements, we’ve come up with ten great classic films that would be even greater with the addition of zombies. Battleship Potemkin (Sergei Eisenstin, 1925) New title: Mutinous Zombies of the Battleship Potemkin Synopsis: A Soviet cinema masterpiece, Eisenstein’s film depicts the 1905 uprising of zombies on the titular vessel against the oppressive officers of the Tsarist regime. It begins when soldiers aboard the Potemkin are forced to eat rotten, maggot-infested meat, which turns the men into mutinous zombies. Later, the city of Odessa becomes overwhelmed with undead citizens and the Tsarist military is sent in to massacre them. In the end, though, even the soldiers are converted. Other Eisenstein films, particularly October, may also appropriately receive similar special zombie editions. The General (Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton, 1927) New title: The General and the Zombies Synopsis: Buster Keaton’s greatest silent blockbuster is kind of like the Shaun of the Dead of its time. The film begins with Keaton’s character losing his girlfriend due to his inability to prove he’s not a coward and a bum, but then by happenstance he ends up a hero and, most importantly, salvages his relationship in the process. In this special edition, Johnnie Gray still has to rescue his train (and his girlfriend) from the Union army, but now those Northern spies are zombies. Like the title character in Shaun of the Dead, Johnnie must in one new scene impersonate a zombie in order to fool them. The stone-faced Keaton is a natural for this masquerade, but of course then soldiers on his side mistake him for being a Union zombie, with hilarious consequences. Abraham Lincoln (D.W. Griffith, 1930) New title: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies Synopsis: Griffith’s biopic about the 16th President of the United States was filled with historical inaccuracies when first released almost 80 years ago. The main complaint? Griffith left out Lincoln’s triumphant one-man battle against a Confederate brigade made up completely of zombie soldiers (yep, the South had them, too). Now, in a special edition release timed to coincide with Honest Abe’s 200th birthday, scenes depicting that battle, as well as a new ending, in which Lincoln recommends the enslavement of zombies, because they are not technically men and therefore are not guaranteed Constitutional freedom, are included. Also, on the DVD: a bonus behind-the-scenes supplement featuring a still-undead Lincoln zombie overseeing the restoration; an exclusive look at Lincoln’s famous stovepipe hat, which he wore to keep zombies from getting at his brains. (The above image of Abe Lincoln, Zombie Hunter is from this t-shirt.) At the Circus (Edward Buzzell, 1939) New title: At the Zombie Circus Synopsis: The Marx Brothers’ films were crazy enough without the addition of zombies, but this late episode from Groucho, Harpo and Chico just wasn’t anarchic enough for their fans. So, now the plot involving the stolen money has been eliminated and the film consists of the three Marx boys trying to stay alive inside a circus tent filled with zombies. There’s a strong man zombie, a dwarf zombie, and then there’s Margaret Dumont, who is so dull Groucho thinks she’s a zombie. Or maybe he just stabs her in the brain for fun? His Girl Friday (Howard Hawks, 1940) New title: His Girl Zombie Synopsis: Despite the new title, Rosalind Russell is never turned into a zombie. Rather, the zombies are merely in the background, causing even more fast-paced hysterics (yes, they’re the quick sort of zombies that are all the “rage” these days). Actually, at one point Ralph Bellamy’s character is thought to be a zombie, but then it’s realized that as much as he appears to be the walking dead, he’s just too slow to be one of the zombies running around outside the courthouse. Again, His Girl Zombie has something in common with Shaun of the Dead (not to mention Twister), in that it’s another story in which a couple attempts to separate but is thrust back together during a chaotic event.
Angel and the Badman (James Edward Grant, 1947) New title: Angel and the Badman and the Zombies Synopsis: In this early precursor to the ‘80s Harrison Ford classic Witness Zombies, John Wayne plays a shootist and womanizer who is wounded near a Quaker family home. Brought in and nursed back to health, he attempts to tame himself after falling for a young Quaker woman. But his desire to become a pacifist is made difficult when brain-hungry zombies attack the house, and he must choose to either commit himself to the Quaker ways and “die” with his new religious society of friends, or go out and kick some zombie ass. New title: Z.O.A. Synopsis: The film begins with Frank Bigelow, filmed from behind, entering a police station to report that he’s been murdered. The reason he is able to do this is not because he’s not yet died from the poison; it’s because he is a zombie, which we finally discover when the camera finally shows us his face. The film then goes to flashback and details the events that lead to Bigelow’s zombification. After the back-story is complete, the film returns to the scene in the police station, where cops proceed to shoot Bigelow in the head. His file is then marked “Z.O.A.,” meaning “zombie on arrival.” Royal Wedding (Stanley Donen, 1951) New title: Zombie Wedding Synopsis: Fred Astaire and Jane Powell star as a brother and sister song and dance duo in this musical classic, which features two of Astaire’s most famous scenes. “Zombie Jumps” has him dancing first with a coat rack, then with a corpse, Weekend at Bernie’s-style. The latter of these objects ends up coming to life, a metaphor for Astaire’s famous ability to animate the inanimate. In “You’re All Zombies to Me,” Astaire playfully escapes from the zombie he’s created by dancing on the walls and ceiling of a room. Beat the Devil (John Huston, 1953) New title: Beat the Devil and the Zombies Synopsis: It’s been called the first camp movie, but unfortunately it wasn’t the first camp zombie movie. That all changes now with newly added scenes in which Humphrey Bogart and a great ensemble of character actors, including Peter Lorre, must fight off zombies while killing time at an Italian port. It’s very likely that Huston and co-screenwriter Truman Capote would have no problem with this additional subplot. Anyone familiar with the background of the film knows its makers didn’t take it seriously in the least. Actually, let’s just go ahead and add zombies into every section of the film. Zombies on the boat, zombies in Africa, zombies everywhere. Heck, make Bogie a zombie due to a lack of money. After all, as his character sets it up with the line, “I’ve got to have money. Doctor’s orders are that I must have a lot of money, otherwise I become dull, listless and have trouble with my complexion.” It’s a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946) New title: It’s a Zombie Life Synopsis: On Christmas Eve, George Bailey wishes he were a zombie. But before he can find another zombie to bite him, an angel comes down from Heaven and shows him what his life would be like if he were undead. Zombie George infects the whole town of Bedford Falls, all except the wealthy Mr. Potter, who manages to take over the town by enslaving and exploiting the zombified citizens. In the end, George realizes that he’s better off simply shooting himself in the head so that he can’t possibly become a zombie. (Note: It’s a Wonderful Life is actually no longer in the public domain, but we just couldn’t not include it). |
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The 27 Greatest Horror Comedies Ever Made(0) Too often a horror movie fails so badly that the only redeeming qualities come from the few moments that make one laugh. That doesn’t make it a good movie though, does it? Intent is the ultimate key, does a filmmaker deliberately set out to make a comedic horror film, or is the humor the mere residue of awkward mishaps and poor execution? If it’s the latter; then a litany of films would extend out into infinity. Forget all that. We’re more interested in movies that are not only meant to simultaneously scare and make a person laugh, but the ones that are most effective in their power to do so. Here’s our list of the 27 all time best horror comedies.
#27: Fright Night
#26: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
#25: Arachnophobia
#24: Night of the Creeps
#23: The Lost Boys
#22: Basket Case
#21: Critters
#20: Toxic Avenger
#19: Tremors
#18: The ‘burbs
#17: Gremlins
#16: From Dusk Till Dawn
#15: Killer Klowns From Outer Space
#14: The Frighteners
#13: From Beyond
#12: Cemetery Man
#11: Beetle Juice
#10: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
#9: An American Werewolf in London
#8: Shaun of the Dead
#7: Return of the Living Dead
#6: Young Frankenstein
#5: Army of Darkness
#4: Re-Animator
#3: Dead Alive (AKA Brain Dead)
#2: Evil Dead II
#1: Ghostbusters
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