Publisher Quirk Books and author Seth Grahame-Smith have come up with the best way to make a literary work more accessible since the creation of Classics Illustrated comic books: they’ve added “all-new scenes of bone crunching zombie action” to Jane Austen’s 19th century novel Pride and Prejudice. This new version, out in stores this May, is titled Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now With Ultraviolent Mayhem! And if you didn’t think it was a masterpiece before, chances are you will now.

Could we do the same thing to classic films? Well, the technology to add extraneous enhancements to movies exists. Just check out The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for proof. But like Pride and Prejudice, we’d need to “enhance” films in the public domain if we wanted to get away with it. Fortunately, there are hundreds of such titles (see a list at Wikipedia), some of which actually already have zombies (Night of the Living Dead, White Zombie, Revolt of the Zombies, and in a way the “scientific” film Experiments in the Revival of Organisms).

Avoiding the majority of public domain movies already consisting of horror and science fiction elements, we’ve come up with ten great classic films that would be even greater with the addition of zombies.

Battleship Potemkin (Sergei Eisenstin, 1925)

New title: Mutinous Zombies of the Battleship Potemkin

Synopsis: A Soviet cinema masterpiece, Eisenstein’s film depicts the 1905 uprising of zombies on the titular vessel against the oppressive officers of the Tsarist regime. It begins when soldiers aboard the Potemkin are forced to eat rotten, maggot-infested meat, which turns the men into mutinous zombies. Later, the city of Odessa becomes overwhelmed with undead citizens and the Tsarist military is sent in to massacre them. In the end, though, even the soldiers are converted. Other Eisenstein films, particularly October, may also appropriately receive similar special zombie editions.

The General (Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton, 1927)

New title: The General and the Zombies

Synopsis: Buster Keaton’s greatest silent blockbuster is kind of like the Shaun of the Dead of its time. The film begins with Keaton’s character losing his girlfriend due to his inability to prove he’s not a coward and a bum, but then by happenstance he ends up a hero and, most importantly, salvages his relationship in the process. In this special edition, Johnnie Gray still has to rescue his train (and his girlfriend) from the Union army, but now those Northern spies are zombies. Like the title character in Shaun of the Dead, Johnnie must in one new scene impersonate a zombie in order to fool them. The stone-faced Keaton is a natural for this masquerade, but of course then soldiers on his side mistake him for being a Union zombie, with hilarious consequences.

Abraham Lincoln (D.W. Griffith, 1930)

New title: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

Synopsis: Griffith’s biopic about the 16th President of the United States was filled with historical inaccuracies when first released almost 80 years ago. The main complaint? Griffith left out Lincoln’s triumphant one-man battle against a Confederate brigade made up completely of zombie soldiers (yep, the South had them, too). Now, in a special edition release timed to coincide with Honest Abe’s 200th birthday, scenes depicting that battle, as well as a new ending, in which Lincoln recommends the enslavement of zombies, because they are not technically men and therefore are not guaranteed Constitutional freedom, are included. Also, on the DVD: a bonus behind-the-scenes supplement featuring a still-undead Lincoln zombie overseeing the restoration; an exclusive look at Lincoln’s famous stovepipe hat, which he wore to keep zombies from getting at his brains. (The above image of Abe Lincoln, Zombie Hunter is from this t-shirt.)

At the Circus (Edward Buzzell, 1939)

New title: At the Zombie Circus

Synopsis: The Marx Brothers’ films were crazy enough without the addition of zombies, but this late episode from Groucho, Harpo and Chico just wasn’t anarchic enough for their fans. So, now the plot involving the stolen money has been eliminated and the film consists of the three Marx boys trying to stay alive inside a circus tent filled with zombies. There’s a strong man zombie, a dwarf zombie, and then there’s Margaret Dumont, who is so dull Groucho thinks she’s a zombie. Or maybe he just stabs her in the brain for fun?

His Girl Friday (Howard Hawks, 1940)

New title: His Girl Zombie

Synopsis: Despite the new title, Rosalind Russell is never turned into a zombie. Rather, the zombies are merely in the background, causing even more fast-paced hysterics (yes, they’re the quick sort of zombies that are all the “rage” these days). Actually, at one point Ralph Bellamy’s character is thought to be a zombie, but then it’s realized that as much as he appears to be the walking dead, he’s just too slow to be one of the zombies running around outside the courthouse. Again, His Girl Zombie has something in common with Shaun of the Dead (not to mention Twister), in that it’s another story in which a couple attempts to separate but is thrust back together during a chaotic event.

Angel and the Badman (James Edward Grant, 1947)

New title: Angel and the Badman and the Zombies

Synopsis: In this early precursor to the ‘80s Harrison Ford classic Witness Zombies, John Wayne plays a shootist and womanizer who is wounded near a Quaker family home. Brought in and nursed back to health, he attempts to tame himself after falling for a young Quaker woman. But his desire to become a pacifist is made difficult when brain-hungry zombies attack the house, and he must choose to either commit himself to the Quaker ways and “die” with his new religious society of friends, or go out and kick some zombie ass.

D.O.A. (Rudolph Mate, 1950)

New title: Z.O.A.

Synopsis: The film begins with Frank Bigelow, filmed from behind, entering a police station to report that he’s been murdered. The reason he is able to do this is not because he’s not yet died from the poison; it’s because he is a zombie, which we finally discover when the camera finally shows us his face. The film then goes to flashback and details the events that lead to Bigelow’s zombification. After the back-story is complete, the film returns to the scene in the police station, where cops proceed to shoot Bigelow in the head. His file is then marked “Z.O.A.,” meaning “zombie on arrival.”

Royal Wedding (Stanley Donen, 1951)

New title: Zombie Wedding

Synopsis: Fred Astaire and Jane Powell star as a brother and sister song and dance duo in this musical classic, which features two of Astaire’s most famous scenes. “Zombie Jumps” has him dancing first with a coat rack, then with a corpse, Weekend at Bernie’s-style. The latter of these objects ends up coming to life, a metaphor for Astaire’s famous ability to animate the inanimate. In “You’re All Zombies to Me,” Astaire playfully escapes from the zombie he’s created by dancing on the walls and ceiling of a room.

Beat the Devil (John Huston, 1953)

New title: Beat the Devil and the Zombies

Synopsis: It’s been called the first camp movie, but unfortunately it wasn’t the first camp zombie movie. That all changes now with newly added scenes in which Humphrey Bogart and a great ensemble of character actors, including Peter Lorre, must fight off zombies while killing time at an Italian port. It’s very likely that Huston and co-screenwriter Truman Capote would have no problem with this additional subplot. Anyone familiar with the background of the film knows its makers didn’t take it seriously in the least. Actually, let’s just go ahead and add zombies into every section of the film. Zombies on the boat, zombies in Africa, zombies everywhere. Heck, make Bogie a zombie due to a lack of money. After all, as his character sets it up with the line, “I’ve got to have money. Doctor’s orders are that I must have a lot of money, otherwise I become dull, listless and have trouble with my complexion.”

It’s a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946)

New title: It’s a Zombie Life

Synopsis: On Christmas Eve, George Bailey wishes he were a zombie. But before he can find another zombie to bite him, an angel comes down from Heaven and shows him what his life would be like if he were undead. Zombie George infects the whole town of Bedford Falls, all except the wealthy Mr. Potter, who manages to take over the town by enslaving and exploiting the zombified citizens. In the end, George realizes that he’s better off simply shooting himself in the head so that he can’t possibly become a zombie. (Note: It’s a Wonderful Life is actually no longer in the public domain, but we just couldn’t not include it).

Classic Science Fiction is as much about plot as it is setting and vehicle concepts. From Batman to Blade Runner, production geniuses have created some of the most memorable modes of transportation for characters to drive (or hover, or fly) around in, literally moving the story along. Besides, who says future cars will have to stay grounded? Have a look at the our favorite sci-fi vehicles, and chime in if you think we’ve left any out (or included something that makes you gag!)

1. Blade Runner

Let’s face it – Philip K. Dick’s Blade Runner (from his 1968 book entitled Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?) is one science fiction story referenced time and time again. The film’s design by artist Syd Mead has been mimicked since their introduction to celluloid in 1982. Rick Deckard (BR’s main character played by Harrison Ford) is chauffeured around by Gaff (Edwards James Olmos) in a police “Spinner” – part ground car, part flying-police interceptor. The Spinner, well, spins as it ascends past the rooftops of 2019 Los Angeles. According to a recent behind the scenes documentary, underneath the futuristic Spinner bodies were the chaises of Volkswagens.

2. Batman

The Batmobile has taken many forms – from a Lincoln concept car to the now famous Tumbler. The ride of Bruce Wayne’s alter ego has been barreling down Gotham streets for decades, and into the hearts of every kid’s imagination. Our 21st century anti-crime lab on wheels is complete with various gun and missile cannons, sensor units (both audio and visual) and a detachable motorcycle.

Honorable Mention:

Batman: The Animated Series from the 1990’s was celebrated by cartoon fans for its striking art-deco designs. Personally, we find this animated Batmobile on this version of the caped crusader’s car a personal favorite.

3. Star Wars

We searched high and low…and yes, there is a car in Star Wars…sort of. Cloud City’s “Twin-pod cloud car” patrols the skies in a galaxy far, far away. Two identical armored vehicles are connected by a thruster engine, along with matching laser blasters coming out of the front end, reminiscent of P-51 Mustang fighter planes from WWII. We want to know if each pod is independent of the other, or its connecting engine.

4. Minority Report

Also based on a story by Sci-Fi author Philip K. Dick (famous for the aforementioned Blade Runner) Minority is set in 2054 Washington DC, where pre-crime police capture criminals based on foreknowledge, provided by three psychic pre-cognitives. The vehicles provided by Lexus/Toyota were futuristic concepts, which came complete with a future press-release:

In the year 2054, some cars will be self-cleaning, some will drive in an accident free system, and some will change colors on command…In the film’s design…a mass transportation system uses electrical/magnetic energy – much like that which sends a bullet train speeding along – with horizontal and vertical surfaces covered with “roadways” made of magnetic discs that support and propel various vehicles.

5. Mad Max

Mad Max is a classic post-apocalyptic revenge story. Australian cop Max is out to get back at a violent motorcycle gang after they killed one of his wife, their son and a fellow officer. Along for the ride is Max’s sawed-off shotgun and his 1973 Ford XB Falcon. dozens of other custom 70’s muscle cars and super-charged bikes are roaming the outback wasteland, hunting for food (sometimes in the form of people) and precious oil, which has become a commodity more precious than life.

6. The Road Warrior

Mad Max 2, as it is also named, continues with the oil subplot, as a group of hardened civilians try to escape their heavily fortified compound with a tanker truck full of gasoline. The only thing standing in their way is a leather-chap clad gang of homicidal maniacs. Luckily, Mel Gibson is back in the lead roll, and he is still pretty pissed off.

Honorable Mention:

Between the Mad Max films and Convoy you have a wide variety of armored Mack Trucks – including a fuel hauler with gun torrents and arrow launchers.

7. Back to the Future

Speaking of flying cars…

8. The Fifth Element

Ok, so Fifth Element may not be considered “classic science fiction” – but we love the New York Checkered Cabs of 2263 Manhattan. Bruce Willis spends his days catching fares and nights returning a mystical female oracle (played by the gorgeous Milla Jovoich) to the other four elements in an attempt to save the world. Why is it always the job of Willis to save the rest of us? Poor guy. Other flying vehicles include everyday pedestrian cars, police cruisers and a floating Chinese food stand.

9. Dune

In the year 10,191 one would think humans (or whatever evolves from us) will have little to no use for a car. When you’re trapped on the dunes of Arrakis with a sand worm hot on your tale, the only thing that can save you is a well-armored tank (or Sting in a leather jumpsuit). Dune’s Harvesters not only keep its two-dozen or so occupants safe from worms, it allows them to meticulously pick the land clean of the addictive “spice melange” – which sells to the highest bidder. The Harvester is big and tough, but slow as a snail, and needs a huge spacecraft to do desert pick-ups and drop-offs.

10. Akira

Soon to be a live-action motion picture, Akira is a beautiful piece of Japanese animation, which helped Manga become popular on this continent. Akira is the name of a child who was given almost “god-like powers” while undergoing military experiments for ESP in 2019 Neo-Tokyo.During the story, Akira grows out of control, threatening to destroy the entire city. Who will safe this futuristic faux-Tokyo? A bunch of delinquent 16 year olds in a motorcycle gang of course! Yes, bikes are not cars, but they are still sleek looking vehicles. We hope the live-action versions don’t look too plastic, or worse yet, CGI like a certain recent Speed Racer flick.

11. Death Race 2000

Yet another dystopia future? It may be looking bad for us humans, but the car industry (and, seemingly, weapons industries) will surely flourish! As the Aussies brought us Mad Max America brought us Death Race 2000. Set in (guess what year!) the thin yet entertaining plot revolves around outlaw racers who challenge one another, along with any pedestrian who crosses their path. Points are scored not only by how fast you reach a check point, but also by the number, gender and age of those you murder along the way. Talk about road rage! (wakka wakka) – Some of the cartoonishly-violent vehicles featured include a Fiat Spider, custom Chevy Nova and a custom Cimbria Super Sport (pictured above). Doesn’t this sound like the perfect mix of movie violence, cheese and entertainment? Hollywood sure thought so, because they are remaking the film this summer…

12. Death Race (2008 Remake)

…with an army of updated cars, trucks and SUV’s equipped with Vulcan cannons, flame throws and lots of heavy-looking metal plating. The big draw is Ford’s new Mustang as Death Race’s star. There’s also a late 60’s Buick Riviera featured, presumably blown up at one point in the film, which makes us all in Vermont cry just a tiny bit.

13. Escape from New York

Another great taxi for “Snake Plissken” (Kurt Russell) to help rescue the President after his plane is shot down over a Manhattan Island turned maximum security prison. The Checker Marathon cabs were made specifically for the livery services throughout their years of service, until the early 80’s when Ford and Chevrolet cars became your normal yellow cabs in New York. The cabbie (who is fittingly named “Cabbie” and played by Airwolf’s Ernest Borgnine) who assists snake in finding the Chief of Staff stocks his taxi with Molotov cocktails. Those probably came in pretty handy behind the scenes, shooting at night in downtown NYC during the early-1980’s.

14. Ghost in the Shell

Another anime, though this time we really have cars to feature! Ghost in the Shell is another world-famous manga revolving around the officers of Section 9, whose job it is to fight the most violent of cyber and technological crimes. A new animated series spin-off of the 1995 film includes a couple of animated Nissan concept vehicles – there’s Nissan’s Sport pictures above – which may come to life in the not-to-distant future.
15. Aliens
Syd Mead is back with more visually stunning vehicles for the sci-fi lover to gawk over. Aliens’ APC (armored personal carrier) was based on the trucks used to tow civilian and military airplanes to/from hangers. Mead again pushes the boundaries of imagination (while staying within budget) and brings us functional, realistic designs of cars we may all be driving…one day. Hopefully, we can figure out better ways to fuel these various modes of transit, so we won’t be shouting…

Click on images to enlarge  .

CASABLANCA – Love, war, intrigue… all woven into the tapestry of a movie is perhaps what makes ‘Casablanca’ stand out as one of those timeless classics. It speaks about love, marriage and infidelity. The tried and tested recipe for the perfect romance.

Casablanca (1942) is an American romantic drama film directed by Michael Curtiz, starring Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman and Paul Henreid and featuring Claude Rains, Conrad Veidt, Sydney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre. Set during World War II, it focuses on a man torn between, in the words of one character, love and virtue. He must choose between his love for a woman and helping her and her Resistance leader husband escape from the Vichy-controlled Moroccan city of Casablanca to continue his fight against the Nazis.

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Kellvin here giving the Latino Review readers what they are accustomed to around here, some breaking news!

One of our faithful followers last night got to see the final cut of the highly anticipated film “Watchmen,” in Los Angeles.

Watchmen movie poster

I am hoping this movie is going to be huge. When I first heard about it; I have to admit I had not read the graphic novel. So like the true student of the film that I am, I went out and did my research by purchasing a copy my hard earned dinero!

The book was awesome, and he first thing I thought was “How are they going to pull this off?” its no wonder why this film could not be done 20 years ago. There just was not enough technology around that could do this story justice.

Since the studio announced that Watchmen was going to be made, the Internet has been flooded with fan boy discussion about who would direct it, and who would play The Watchmen, and would the film be faithful to the novel? Well according to our loyal follower, Bentley Mustafa, yes, yes, and YES!

Now before we dive into this, I want to warn you that there will be huge spoilers, so if you do not want to know what’s in the film, stop reading now…. otherwise, sit your ass down and get ready for some Watchmen 411!

Here’s what Bentley Mustafa has to say about the screening.

There were approximately 200 people at the screening.

1.  No Black Freighter, although we do catch glimpses of the newsstand and the kid who reads the comic, but only briefly.

2. The ending is different, no squid.  I was one of the people who never really cared about squid/no squid, but I feel the ending will work better for mainstream audiences that have never read the book.

3. They do not imply a sequel anymore than the book does…

4.  The montage covering the heroes of the past is done exceptionally well, and was longer than I expected.  Allows the audience to understand that this is an alternate version of the past and everything they know should be thrown out the window.

5. It is dark, but not the stark realism that fills the Dark Knight.  The Watchmen reality is a little more surreal in its feel, like a dream.  It really has the feel of the comic in it.

6. Look for the cameo by Snyder’s son. He also played young Leonidas in 300.

7. It was fantastically close to the book; even the framings of shots were lifted directly from the book.

8. Jackie Earl Halley is the shit in this.  He IS Rorschach.

9. This movie is gory.  I’m a gore hound and I was surprised at how graphic some scenes were.  Really had people squirming.

10. NAKED Sally Jupiter. (CORRECTION NAKED Silk Spectre)

11. Only character I didn’t like was Veidt/Ozymandias.  I thought the actor was weak.

I have to say Snyder knocked this one out of the park.  There is some gruesome, brutal stuff here that is hard to watch.  The fight scenes are awesome, and, like in 300, Snyder continues the use of ramping the frame rate to accentuate the movements of the characters. I knew there was going to be some slo-mo, but I didn’t think he overdid it. All in all, fans of the book are going to more than pleased with the film.  For a book that was for years considered un-filmable, he certainly managed to hit almost every beat and did not compromise any of the material (except for the squid).

So there you have it folks, breaking news once again brought to you by yours truly. I cannot wait for the films release; it will definitely up the ante for comic book adaptations in the future.

more Watchmen movie posters

For trailer click here

Inglourious Basterds is an upcoming ensemble war film/spaghetti western written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. It has the largest cast of characters (with speaking roles) of any Tarantino film to date and is currently in production with several locations, among them Germany and France. Tarantino plans to complete production of Inglourious Basterds in time for release at the Cannes Film Festival in May 2009. Filming began in October 2008. The title (and partial premise) of the upcoming film is inspired by Italian director Enzo Castellari‘s 1978 movie Inglorious Bastards. The Weinstein Company has slated August 21, 2009 as the tentative U.S. release date.

movie poster

Entering the 21st century, director Quentin Tarantino had been penning several scripts, including one for the World War II adventure film that would eventually become Inglourious Basterds. Tarantino described the premise in October 2001, “It’s my bunch-of-guys-on-a-mission film. It’s my Dirty Dozen or Where Eagles Dare or Guns of Navarone kind of thing.” The premise had begun as a Western and evolved into a World War II version of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly set in Nazi-occupied France. The story changed to be about two maverick units from the United States Army that had “a habit of scalping Germans” before changing again.

Actor Michael Madsen, who appeared in Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs, was originally reported to star in the movie, then called Inglorious Bastards, which had been scheduled for release in 2004. By 2002, Tarantino found Inglorious Bastards to be a bigger film than planned and saw that other directors were working on World War II films. Tarantino had produced three nearly finished scripts, saying, “It was some of the best writing I’ve ever done. But I couldn’t come up with an ending.” The director held off his planned film and moved on to direct the two-part film Kill Bill (2003-2004) with Uma Thurman in the lead role. After the completion of Kill Bill, Tarantino trimmed the length of the script, which was reportedly three films long, to 222 pages. The director eventually planned to begin production of Inglorious Bastards late in 2005. The revised premise focused on a group of soldiers who escape from their executions and embark on a mission to help the Allies. The director described the men as “not your normal hero types that are thrown into a big deal in the Second World War”.

Tarantino also sought to present the film as a Spaghetti Western set in Nazi-occupied France. He explained his intent, “I’m going to find a place that actually resembles, in one way or another, the Spanish locales they had in spaghetti Westerns—a no man’s land. With American soldiers and French peasants and the French resistance and Nazi occupiers, it was kind of a no man’s land. That will really be my spaghetti Western but with World War II iconography. But the thing is, I won’t be period specific about the movie. I’m not just gonna play a lot of Édith Piaf and Andrews Sisters. I can have rap, and I can do whatever I want. It’s about filling in the viscera.” The director described the scale of the project, “It’ll be epic and have my take of the sociological battlefield at that time with the racism and barbarism on all sides—the Nazi side, the American side, the black and Jewish soldiers and the French, because it all takes place in France.” Tarantino planned to set the film around the time of D-Day (June 6, 1944) and afterward.

In November 2004, the director decided to hold off production of Inglourious Basterds and instead film a kung fu movie entirely in Mandarin. Tarantino ultimately directed a part of the 2007 Grindhouse instead, returning to work on Inglorious Bastards after finishing promotion for Grindhouse. The director teamed with The Weinstein Company to prepare Inglorious Bastards for production. In September 2007, The Irish Times reported the film’s scheduled release for 2008, writing, “Inglorious Bastards, a war movie that may eventually resemble The Dirty Dozen merged with Cross of Iron, has been predicted more often than the second coming of the Lord.”

Several Tarantino fan sites have already begun posting reviews and excerpts from the film’s script. Since mid-October 2008 the film is in principal photography on location in Germany.

The teaser trailer will premiere on Entertainment Tonight on the 10th February, and will be in American theaters the following week attatched to Friday the 13th

The film will be released on August 19th in France, two days earlier than the US release.

Typically, the children in horror movies are either the unwilling messengers of doom or are evil themselves. Either way, the dialogue these kids have to spout is usually pretty eerie and often not something you’d want to hear coming out of the mouths of babes.

Here’s a look at 9 chilling quotes spoken by children in some of our favorite horror/thriller films.

Poltergeist

“They’re here …”

Is there any more classic moment than when Carol Anne turns away from the static TV and says to Craig T. Nelson, “They’re here”? The sing-song delivery, the creepy little toe-headed kid, everything about the scene is unnerving. The reality of what happened to Poltergeist star Heather O’Rourke only adds to the enduring scariness. The sad thing is that the scene is now being used to sell cable TV, which seems a crass and careless way to tread on someone’s memory.

The Sixth Sense

Of course, the most famous of the creepy little kids of the last decade is Haley Joel Osmet in The Sixth Sense, when he imparted those famous words to Bruce Willis, “I see dead people.” Coming at about the midway point of the film, those four little words explain what has been going on in the film, and opens the door for the much larger surprise that comes at the end. A lot of people would argue that writer/director M. Night Shyamalan has been making the same film ever since and that none of his other films have lived up to the promise of that first success, but if nothing else, he has given us one of the most memorable film experiences ever.

The Shining

While Jack Nicholson’s psychotic axe-wielding family man Jack Torrance managed to scare the crap out of us — and has one of the greatest movies lines ever with “Here’s Johnny!” — it was really Jack’s young son Danny who had the most chilling scenes of the film. In this Stanley Kubrick adaptation of the classic Stephen King novel, a writer takes a job as the winter caretaker at what turns out to be a haunted hotel. After Jack, his wife, and their young son Danny move into the hotel, it’s revealed that the young boy has “the shining,” an ability to see ghosts. Eventually, Danny begins to repeatedly chant “redrum” in a deep voice while holding a knife in one hand while writing the word in red lipstick on a door with the other — that’s creepy enough. It becomes even more chilling when we find out what “redrum” actually means.

The Exorcist

There are so many chilling and iconic moments packed into Linda Blair’s performance as the possessed Regan MacNeil that choosing just one singular moment is pretty difficult. Nearly every moment of dialogue that takes place between Father Karras and Regan during the Exorcism scenes are far beyond mere disturbing. Most of the gems concern Karras’s mother, like “Your mother’s in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I’ll see that she gets it.” and the infamous “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell…”, or even parroting his Mother’s dementia-filled agony with “Why you do this to me, Dimi? Please Dimi, I’m afraid.” Yet for me the creepiest bit in the film takes place before the actual possession at her mom’s cocktail party. Amid the festivities of a piano-fueled singalong Regan pulls a true show-stopper when after being put to bed she returns to the party and sidles up to an Astronaut (we should all have one Astronaut buddy). In a monotonous deadpan Regan say “You’re gonna die up there.” followed by her letting loose a load of piss on the rug. Now, a little girl in pajamas telling a spaceman he’s gonna be orbital toast the day before his launch is eerie enough, but that piss-filled encore takes the moment beyond mere creepy and into utra-disturbing territory.

Interview With The Vampire

Little Claudia (Kirsten Dunst) is a beautiful girl perfectly dressed and coiffed, just like the numerous dolls that decorate her room. But she’ll never be truly happy, because she’s a child vampire who’ll live forever, yet never grow into a woman. This is the one thing she desires — so much so, amongst her dolls she hides the corpse of a female victim she wanted to emulate, which prompts a heated argument with her “father” and maker Lestat (Tom Cruise). Seemingly to make up for the fight, little Claudia brings Lestat twin boys to fed on, concealing that the boys are already dead — and drinking from the dead is a big vampire no-no. To coax Lestat to drink, Claudia so sweetly says “I promise I’ll get rid of the bodies.” Lestat takes the bait, which allows Claudia to finish him off. This “child” may seem innocent and look like a little angel, but underneath it all, she’s the deadliest of them all.

The Good Son

Macaulay Culkin was on a meteoric rise in the early 1990s with the success of the first two Home Alone movies, so it might not have been the best idea for the child star to headline the 1993 thriller The Good Son as the “bad son.” Culkin’s Henry goes far beyond spilling some milk. He’s an innocent-looking boy with malicious intent and no conscience. He will harm with no remorse. The film’s climatic scene is truly a cliffhanger: After trying to kill his own mother, Susan, Henry hangs from a cliff alongside his “good” cousin Mark (Elijah Wood). Holding one boy in each hand, Susan tries to pull them both to safety when Henry tells her, “Mom, I need your other hand” leaving Susan with the dilemma of who to save — her innocent nephew or her evil son?

Damien: Omen II

The 1970s loved to pair children with the devil, as we saw with The Exorcist. But with The Omen, instead of the child being possessed by the Devil, this 1976 horror film centered around the spawn of Satan — the Antichrist. While the original film was frightening enough, Satan’s son Damien was just a small child who didn’t say much. But in the 1978 sequel, Damien still doesn’t know of his true nature, until he begins to come of age and starts to feel a change. When he finds out that the AntiChrist has a 666 birthmark, he checks his scalp and discovers he has it. As horrifying as the gruesome deaths in the movie were, it’s Damien’s discovery of his true Satanic heritage — complete with an anguished “Why me?” — that’s truly bone-chilling.

Pet Semetary

For me personally, it does not get any more terrifying than adorable little Gage from Pet Semetary. If the horror of your baby son being hit by a speeding 18-wheeler isn’t enough to begin with, this little one is buried in then that wacky cemetery. A little bit of Monkey’s Paw later, well, we all know what happens there… back comes little Gage, only quite different now. That kid, with his little outfits and his knife and tiny high-pitched voice is enough to make me weep, especially when he’s bringing a knife to his mother, saying “I brought you something, Mommy” as if it will be a sweet surprise for her.

Children of the Corn

Let’s face it, the entire premise of Children of the Corn and its numerous sequels is one big creepy-children horror fest, from its brainwashed children with pitchforks chanting “KILL!” to its charismatic child leader Isaac and his eerie preaching about the evil god of corn known as “He Who Walks Behind the Rows.” While driving through Nebraska, Linda Hamilton and the guy from 30 Something have a run-in with the murderous children who sacrifice adults to the evil corn god. When Isaac has a disagreement with his right-hand man Malachai, the latter has Isaac crucified as a sacrifice to their god. As Isaac awaits death on the corn cross, he spouts off about how he is the giver of “His” word and how the children will pay for their treachery and disobedience to Isaac’s teachings. After his death, in true biblical form, Isaac is resurrected. Looking like he just put his finger in an electrical socket, the prophet Isaac returns to bring vengeance from their God to Malachai. In a possessed voice, the young Isaac tells his betrayer, “He wants you too, Malachai.”

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Chevy plans to reveal the official “Bumblebee II” Camaro from Transformers 2 at the Chicago Auto Show. To celebrate the new-look, they’ve brought his robot mode. Here’s a gallery of how they built it.

In addition to the how-to gallery below that makes us want to scream “No disassemble #5!”, we’ve also got a first “official” shot of the new Bumblebee in the background of one of the shots, along with that red-and-black SEMA concept Camaro. We’re also hearing we’ll have a special surprise for tomorrow’s GM reveal. We can hardly wait!

For Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen movie review check here

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Men might be the oft leading candidates for the bad-ass heroes in films, but women have had their share of butt-kicking screen time as well. Here are the top ten Bad Ass Women of all time.

10. Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991)

Skynet, the 21st century computer waging a losing war on humans sends a second terminator back in time to destroy the leader of the human resistance while he is still a boy. His mother is the only one who knows of the existence of the Terminators, human-like robots that exist only to kill and are nearly indestructible, and she, the boy’s mother, is currently in a state mental hospital because of her ‘delusions’. A second protector is sent back to the past by the Human resistance to protect John Connor, their future leader, at all costs. All in order to protect her son, the future leader of the resistance against the machines, Sarah kicks a sizable amount of ass.

9. Lori Petty as Tank Girl (Rebecca) TANK GIRL (1995)

Tank Girl (Rebecca) and her friends are the only remaining citizens living in the wasteland that is Earth, where all the remaining water is controlled by Water and Power, the mega corporation/government that runs the territory. While incarcerated at W + P, Tank Girl and her new friend Jet Girl break out and steal… a tank and a jet. After meeting some mutant kangaroo/humans, and rescuing her little girl (adopted by her friends), the kangaroos and the girls kick Water and Powers’ ass. Based on a comic series, it tends to take a more comedic approach to the subject, but there is little doubt that Tank Girl kicks ass.

8. Michelle Yeoh & Zhang Ziyi as Yu Shu Lien & Jen Yu CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON (2000)

Wo hu cang long (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon) is a timeless story that takes place in QING China when miracles were credible and spirits and gods were present in man’s world. It is not unbelievable that zen warriors float through the air, skim the water and battle in trees and on rooftops. Pain, revenge and duty are the stuff that bind us in this world and are the main plot line of the movie, but in the afterlife love and faith linger on. Along with Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun Fat), the ladies in this movie are graceful and downright deadly.

7. Uma Thurman as Beatrix Kiddo (The Bride) KILL BILL VOL. I-II (2003-4)

The lead character, called ‘The Bride,’ was a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, lead by her lover ‘Bill.’ Upon realizing she was pregnant with Bill’s child, ‘The Bride’ decided to escape her life as a killer. She fled to Texas, met a young man, and on the day of their wedding was gunned down by an angry and jealous Bill (with the assistance of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad). Four years later, ‘The Bride’ wakes from a coma, and discovers her baby is gone. She, then, decides to seek revenge upon the five people who destroyed her life and killed her baby. Beatrix absolutely goes all out as she individually hunts and eliminates every member of the D.V.A.S., finally getting to Bill, her desired target. Kicks ass!

6. Carrie Fischer as Princess Leia THE STAR WARS TRILOGY (1977-1983)

Snide, snarky, and about as un-princess-like as one could be, Leia Organa takes charge of her rag-tag rescue band from the moment Han, Luke, and Chewie release her from the cell block. Defiant, cock-sure, and a natural leader, Leia eventually safely delivers the Death Star plans to the Rebel resistance via R2-D2 and sets into motion the utter collapse and downfall of the Galactic Empire. If there was any Imperial ass to kick, Leia was there with blaster in hand. And was there ever any doubt that she’d eventually hook up with a galactic smuggler?

5. Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft TOMB RAIDER (2001-03)

Based on the popular video game series, Tomb Raider features the adventures of Lara Croft an antiquities hunter-for-hire. She travels to exotic locales in search of treasures and artifacts in the catacombs of ancient tombs and ruins remaining from age-old empires. A female Indiana Jones, Croft’s expeditions are always chock full of action, danger, intrigue, suspense and her omnipresent knack for defying death in skin-tight outfits. Looking good and kicking ass is a winning combination.

4. Sheri Moon Zombie as Baby Firefly HOUSE OF A 1000 CORPSES & THE DEVILS REJECTS (2003-05)

The sequel to ‘House of 1000 Corpses’, ‘The Devil’s Rejects,’ takes place a few months later with the Texas State Police making a full-scale attack against the murderous Firefly family residence for the 1,000+ murders and disappearances of the past several years. But three of the family members escape, including Otis, Baby Firefly and Baby’s father Captain Spaulding. The evil trio go on a road trip, leaving dozens of mangled bodies in their wake. Evading a massive Texas Rangers dragnet as well as a group of equally murderous bounty hunters led by Ken Dwyer (the brother of a policeman Mamma Firefly killed in ‘House of…’) who’s obsessed with finding the deadly killers, the surviving Firefly clan gather at a run-down amusement park owned by Captain Spaulding’s half-brother, Charlie Altamont, who offers them shelter and a new base of operations for their killing spree as Sheriff Dwyer, the Texas Rangers, the FBI and others slowly close in. Though gruesome and sadistic, Baby kicks all kinds of ass.

3. Devon Aoki as Miho SIN CITY (2005)

“Sin City” is infested with criminals, crooked cops and sexy dames, some searching for vengeance, some for redemption and others, both. The film incorporates storylines from three of Miller’s graphic novels including ‘Sin City,’ which launched the long-running, critically acclaimed series, as well as ‘That Yellow Bastard’ and ‘The Big Fat Kill.’ Where Hartigan, a cop with a bum ticker and a vow to protect stripper Nancy. Marv, the outcast misanthrope, is on a mission to avenge the death of his one true love, Goldie; there’s also Dwight, the clandestine love of Shelley who spends his nights defending Gail and her Old Towne girls from Jackie Boy, a dirty cop with a penchant for violence. Miho resides in Old Towne and with one word from Gail, the appointed matriarch, Miho dispatches raiders and men alike with razor-sharp accuracy. She kicks serious ass.

2. Mila Jovovich as Alice RESIDENT EVIL, RE: APOCALYPSE, RE: EXTINCTION (2002-07)

A virus has escaped into a secret facility called “The Hive,” which chemically turns the staff (Umbrella Corporation) into man-eating zombies and releasing the mutated lab animals that they were studying. The complex computer (The Red Queen) shuts down the base to prevent further infection. The parent corporation sends in a military unit, where they meet Alice who has only a short time to remember who she is and the state of her mission, and is suffering from amnesia due to the nerve gas released into her bathroom. The military must shut down the computer (The Red Queen) and make their way back out of the Hive. Fighting their way past zombies, mutants and The Red Queen before the T-Virus escapes and effects the rest of the world. Its up to Alice to defeat the virus, if she loses, we all lose. And yes, she defeats them so thoroughly through three well-made films, kicking zombie ass all the way through.

1. Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley ALIEN, ALIENS, ALIEN 3, ALIEN RESURRECTION (1979-97)

Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), the sole survivor of the alien attack on the mining ship Nostromo, awakens half a century later when she is found by a salvage ship. The welcome given to her by the “Company” officials is far from warm, since they refuse to believe her discovery of alien existence and strip her off her flight officer’s license. Ripley also discovers, much to her horror, that the planet LV-426 where her crew had encountered an alien species for the first time, is now colonized by the company. But when all contact from the planet is lost Ripley is called back into action again as an advisor to a team of tough space marines with lots of firepower. To get rid of her recurrent nightmares about the alien creature, Ripley prepares for a final battle with the monsters – and this time, there are hundreds of them out there. Going from unwitting recipient to a monsters attack, to a vicious military scourge, to a prisoner, to an alien/human hybrid, Ellen Ripley kicks ass for 200 solid years. The very best of the best.

We’re not sure how they’ve done it, but by some dastardly karmic injustice these 10 a-holes have made successful careers for themselves as comedians by… being about as funny as putting your dog to sleep. For whatever idiotic reason, everyone went along with the shams long enough to make these people into celebrities. We’re not saying we could do their jobs better, we’re just saying it wouldn’t have been hard to find someone who could. So without further adieu – The Top 10 Most Unfunny Comedians of All Time.

If you want to see full list please go to COED Magazine.  Thank you!

Gran Torino is a 2008 American drama film directed by, produced by, and starring Clint Eastwood. The film features a predominantly Hmong cast, as well as Eastwood’s younger son, Scott Eastwood. Eastwood’s older son, Kyle Eastwood, provided the score. The film opened to theaters in a limited release in North America on December 12, 2008, and later to a wide release on January 9, 2009.

Gran Torino movie poster

Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood), a retired automotive worker and a Korean War veteran, lives in a changing Detroit neighborhood which is dominated by immigrants. At the start of the movie, Walt is attending his wife’s funeral, bristling at the shallow eulogy of young Father Janovich (Christopher Carley). He similarly has no patience for his two sons and their families who show little respect for Walt or their late mother. Throughout the movie Walt views them as spoiled and self-absorbed who avoid him, unless it is of their own self-serving interest; his sons see him as “always disappointed” with them and their families.

Walt’s teenage Hmong neighbors, a shy Thao (Bee Vang) and his feisty sister Sue Vang Lor (Ahney Her), live with their mother and eccentric grandmother. When a Hispanic gang confronts Thao, the Hmong gang, led by Thao’s older cousin Spider (Doua Moua), helps Thao by frightening the Hispanic gang and forcing them to flee. The Hmong gang, at that point, tries to persuade Thao to join them. Thao’s initiation is to steal Walt’s prized 1972 Gran Torino. Walt interrupts the robbery, pointing a rifle in Thao’s face and forcing him to flee. After a few days, Spider and his gang return. With Sue at his side, Thao manages to verbally confront them to no avail. The gang drags Thao off his porch in an attempt to assault him. His family tries desperately to fend off Spider and his cohorts. The conflict ends when Walt, who fought in in the United States Army’s 1st Cavalry Division, threatens the gang members with his M1 Garand rifle and orders them to “get off my lawn.” They leave the neighborhood, telling Walt to watch his back.

The Vang Lors thank a grumpy and impatient Walt, who insists he only wanted the “gooks” off his property. When the neighborhood hears of Walt’s brave act, they reward him by decorating his porch with Hmong dishes and garden plants. Thao admits to trying to steal his Gran Torino. Walt is not pleased, seeking only to be left alone. Father Janovich goes to Walt, reminding him of his wife’s desire for him to go to confession. Walt refuses.

After seeing Sue being harassed by three black teenagers, while her “date” (Scott Eastwood) cannot help her, Walt steps in to rescue her, confronting the teenagers and threatening them with a Colt 1911 pistol. Sue gets to know Walt, and invites him to a family barbecue, bringing him closer to her family, explaining Hmong culture and that during the Vietnam War they fought on “his” side. Sue, Thao, and their mother confront Walt and his Labrador Retriever Daisy the next day, volunteering Thao to work for Walt to atone for his attempted theft of the Gran Torino. Walt has Thao clean up the neighborhood until his debt is paid and shows Thao the ways of American men. He gets Thao a construction job and a date with another Hmong girl called Youa, whom Walt refers to as “Yum Yum”.

After discovering blood when he coughs, Walt visits the doctor. Here again he is confronted by the changing times, seeming to be the only white man in the waiting room, his name is mispronounced by a Muslim nurse, and he’s informed by his examining Asian woman doctor that his old familiar doctor retired three years earlier. After viewing the results of his examination he calls his son and awkwardly tries to talk but the the call is cut short when the son tells Walt he is busy. The Hmong gang, meanwhile, keeps pressuring Thao to join them. When they find Thao alone, they mug him and burn his face with a cigarette. Walt confronts and beats one of the Hmong gang members in retaliation. The gang returns days later and shoots up the Vang Lors’ home, wounding Thao in the neck. Sue, who had left for her aunt’s house before the shooting, returns, beaten and raped. The Hmong keep a code of silence and do not tell police who did it. Walt storms home, punching walls and bloodying his knuckles in anger. Father Janovich who has “worked with Asian gangs”, visits. The two drink beer together, and discuss what Walt will do about it. He eventually goes to confession with Father Janovich, who after hearing a few old, and somewhat minor sins, tells him to pray.

Gran Torino movie poster ver.2

An angry Thao urges Walt to take vengeance on the Hmong gang with him. Walt first tells him to come back later as revenge must be planned carefully. When Thao returns, Walt gives him the Silver Star medal he earned in Korea but locks him in the basement, saying he does not want him to live with the consequences of killing someone. Walt drives to confront the gang, calling Sue to have her unlock the basement and let Thao out. Outside the gang members adjacent houses Walt berates them for the shootout and rape. As the jumpy gang members show their automatic weapons, Walt waits and watches neighbors begin to look out of their windows and from behind doors to witness. He takes out a cigarette from his jacket, puts it in his mouth, and asks the gang for a light. He begins praying the “Hail Mary” (which was the penance assigned to him by Father Janovich in confession) and then quickly reaches into his jacket. Thinking Walt is going to shoot, the gang unleashes a hail of fire, riddling Walt with bullets. A shot of Walt lying dead on the ground reveals he had grabbed his lighter not a gun. Thao and Sue arrive at the crime scene and ask police what happened. Speaking in Hmong to a Hmong police officer they are told that the gang has been arrested and will be imprisoned for a long time, having killed an unarmed man. Hmong neighbors who witnessed the killing break their code of silence and testify against the gang members.

A funeral service is held for Walt with Father Janovich delivering a memorable eulogy of Walt, who is to be buried in a tailored suit he bought the same day he was killed. Thao and his family attend in a large number opposite Walt’s family, which has Walt’s son wondering how the Vang Lors know Walt. In his will, Walt leaves his house to the church, and his Gran Torino to Thao, much to the surprise and chagrin of his family. In the final scene, Thao is driving the Gran Torino with Walt’s dog, Daisy, next to him.